Sakurai's Nintendo Fanfiction (Subspace Emissary) 2: Electric Boogaloo
by Danfics
Summary: Dr. Mario is released from the Shadow Realm and now it's up to Mario to stop him! Can he trust Mewtwo to accept his help in defeating Dr. Mario, or is Mewtwo not to be trusted? How about Pit? Will he, Luigi, and Link be able to defeat Dr. Mario's pawns, Roy and his boyfriend Young Link? And will Captain Falcon DESTROY THE ANIME?
1. Chapter 1: The Journey Begins!

Arc 1 - The Rise of Dr. Mario

one day in the SMASH mansion... mereo and senic are fighting once again and EVERONE was watching the big batel. mareo kicked sonci nt he crotch but it didnt work since sonic had just gotten nutured before the fight. his crotch was still nulled out from the numb they gave it during the operation. so then sonic, using his stupid speed and shit stole mario's idea but did it faster and FIFTY TIMES IN ONE SECOND. "THATS AGAINST THE RULES!" peach, the referee shouted. "BISCH HE JUST TRIED DOING THE SAME THING TO ME" sanic screamed. "yeah but he didnt manage to do it so it doesnt count!" peach said. mario was grasping his wriggler in pain. "soni cis banned from the smash offs for continious breaking of the rules. fuck off sonic" peach said. sonic grumled and ran out while acting all whiny. luigi ran out from the crowd and approached mario. "mario are you okay" but then... mario passed out. "we need to summon DR. MARIO QUICK" peach yelled.

okay so everyone except sonic in smash mansion had put mario in a pentagon circle and put medicine like weed and cocaine around the circle too. every smasher started giving a demonic chant.  
"ENOLC EELEM! ENOLC EELEM! ENOLC EELEM!"  
then a giant red light exploded from mario and suddenly dr. mario appeared. "i am a shadow, the true self..." dr. mario said. mario opened his eyes. "NO! why did you summon him? he was banned to the shadow-smash realm for a reason!" and then dr. mario stomped on mario's face and shut him up. "did somebody order a doctor? because our appointment begins now. RIGHT NOW!" and then dr. mario threw his medicines into the air and they formed together to open a portal to hell and suddenly people showed up... pichu, roy, young link, mewtwo showed up. "oh no! those are the people we banished!" link said jk link doesn't talk haha i got ya. "those are the people we banished, oh no!" peach said.  
"wait... mario you BANNED dr. mario?" zelda asked. zelda can actually talk. "no, i banned DIET dr. mario. haha" mario joked. "but actually yeah bc he was insane and tried impersonating me!" mario said. "but i-a just saw him yesterday!" luigi said. "THAT WAS ME LUIGI I WAS PRETENDING TO BE DR. MARIO OCCASIONALLY AFTER BANNING HIM SO NOBODY WOULD GET SUSPICIOUS!" mario shouted. "yes, and now i am free. now i will give vaccines to children everywhere!" dr. mario said. "that doesn't sound evil..." luigi mumbled. "NO! GIVING CHILDREN VACCINES IS HORRIBLE! I WOULD NEVER VACATE MY CHILDREN" mario shouted. peach was taken aback. "wtf then where did you take baby mario wait did we really name our kid baby mario wtf anyway where did you take b-mario that one day when he was supposed to get that vaccine?" she asked. "...i took him out to the ball game instead" mario said. then peach was disgusted by mario. "mario you have to be responsible and vaccinate your children and not be trash who lets other children catch viruses because you didn't get a vaccine for your child JFC." so then mario was like "ok lesson learned" and stopped being shitty. then peach said "ok dr. mario go ahead and give mario his shots he understands the lesson now" and then dr. mario gave mario a shot. and then he took out a gun to give him another kind of shit i mean shot. "as a doctor AND serial killer, i must make sure my patients are up to full health before i murder them," dr. mario explaineded. "OH-A-NO! HE REALLY IS EVIL!" luigi shatted i mean shouted wow im having a shitty day. "you didnt let me finish explaining luigiles... i wa sgonna say he is also a killer and evil but no apparently i have to be educated first and now im about to die" and just then all of a sudden there was a blue blur and dr. mario got kicked in the crotch 50 times in HALF A SECOND and his gun was pulled away and he got shot in the crotch five times in THREE SECONDS. "I finally got you mari-oh wrong one. oh well this is good enough," sonic said. "WTF you thought he was me?" mario screamed. then sonic ran away to run away from his awkward mistake. "ahem" dr. mario said. he was completely ok with no marks or blood. "as a doctor i am already done healing myself. now i believe we were here... i am going to make POISON vaccines and i will use my MARIO image to make everyone feel safe with getting a shot. AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, DR. MARIO, NOT EVEN MARIO!"

then dr. mario used his medicine to dissipate and reform outside of the mansion. back inside, pichu started spamming electricity. everyone standing on rugs went through pain and pain and pain until pichu died. pichu just goddamn died from self-damage. then roy and young link were like, "we're not back to smesh. we're here to take lives!" the said in edgy, ridig, sharp prepubescent voices. "sooooooo~" roy said. then roy stood up and yelled at roy, "i'm the new boy! get out of here you anime character!" roy shouted. roy was deeply offended by what roy had said. "marth, buddy. show some representation for me! give me a good word for these dudes," roy pleaded. marth just shrugged then flipped his sparkly anime hair. captain falcon then grunted in disgust. "ew, it's too anime in here" and then female robin screamed "YOU SURE ARE TALKING A LOT OF SHIT FOR SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WAS IN AN ANIME!" and captain falcon fell to the ground on his knees. "THOSE WERE THE SINS OF THE PAST! lord sakurai himself cleansed me of my errors! in fact, he used the corruption of anime he removed from me to make many smash charcters because he didn't know where else to put it all!" captain falcon shouted. every fire emblem char, kid icarus char, and shulk char were flabbergasted. i could bring up kirby right back at ya but that's actually a GOOD SHOW. also i could bring up sonic x but i'd rather we just X that out of existence instead. anywow, meeeeerio wait oops roy (not the boy) took his boyfriend young link's hand. "we're out of here! you can't find us either. YOU DON'T KNOW US! YOU DON'T KNOW OUR LIFE STORY!" and then roy used his anime to blind everyone and they escaped. his anime was so unwholesome it blinded the other anime chars too.

"what... do we do?" luigi asked. then mewtwo pooped up.  
*popped

"i think we can make a deal..." metwo said. TO. BE. CONT. INUED.


	2. Chapter 2: Setting Off

okay did i forgot to mention last time that in this story that smash mansion is actually a committee of heroes and whatnot who help fight the evils in Nintendo Land, one of the various countries of the world alongside the Sony Empire and Microsoft Country? yes thats canon and the entire world is basically one big mass of land game worlds. so anyway also the villains aren't a part of the committee except for the koopalings and bowser jr.

"i... can make a deal with you, mario" metwid said. "mewtwo! how can we trust you?! you said if you ever got back out of the shadow realm you would go on a murderous rampage and kill even the holy sakurai himself!" mario saided. then mewtwoid was like "yeah but im a CHANGED man now. i swear on the life of sammyclassicsonicfan that i vow to do no harm. in fact, i that's part of my deal," mewtod said. "and what is this-a deal?" mario asked. "if i help you track down dr. mario and his minions young link and roy, you let me roam freely? im not evil anymore i swear" mewtwo say. so then mario, was like, "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok mewtwo"

so mario and mewtwo started packing up supplies. then mario summoned sora, donald, and goof- FUCK I MEAN pit, link, and luigi. "can i trust you three to go and search through various parts of Nintendo Land to find Young Link and Roy? ...we cant have them roaming. if you find Dr. Mario DO NOT fight him, just go and find me. he is too strong for you three" mareo said. then pit was like "heck yeah let's do this!" and luigi was like "yeeeah" and link was like "yeah sure" JK LINK DOESN'T TALK I GOT YA GOOD AGAIN. link just nodded. "good. depart, search wherever you feel they may be. and be careful out there..." mario then left the room. "are you guys ready for an adventure?" pit said. "yes-a we-a are!" luigi said. link noddled.

meanwhile captian falcon was in an existenal crisis... "no... i cant be... anime! I anicant! ...god ive been around all these... animes while in this committee and their essence is starting to rub off on me. I can't put up with this shit! i need to exterminate the anime for the betterment of THE WORLD," captain falcon declared in a soliloquy. he slipped out of the smesh bruthars manshon and tippy toed over to his falcon vehicle. he jumped in and strapped on his seat belt then blasted away. "if i want to start destroying the animes... i need to go to the ultimate headquarters of it... The Bandai Namco Region..." and so captain falcon then blasted off super falckong fast to the bandai namco region. he parked outside the entrance. the entrance that connected Bandai Namco Region to Nintendo Land was the Pac-Maze, which nobody was around at this time of day. captain flacon sneaked in, unnoticed...

meanwhile pit, luigi, and link were gathering souplies and they packed their bags. pit walked over to his room which he shared with dark pit. pit had a racecar bed and dark pit slept on a pile of clothes on the ground on the floor in the corner. dark pit was on his ipad reading something. "hi what are you reading dark pit" pit asked. dark pit quickly hid his ipad. "fine literature you cannot comprehend. literature that gets me perfectly." dark pit said and then pit was like "OOH I NEED TO SEE THIS" and he looked at it and the title was hot topic krew and pit saw dark pit's name in it and a lot of names he knew. "fuck off pit you're breaking my immersion... dont get in the way of someone reading like that" so then pit gave dark pit his ipad back and dark pit went back to reading.

pit returned to his companions and then they left the smash mansion along with everyone else inside. zelda approached them. "mario said we should all go back to our respective areas to make sure nothing happens while he is away and the smash committee is separated n whatnot so if you need us or anyone else we'll all be at home k?" and pit was like "ok"

so pit, luigi, and link were walking for a while now and then they stopped. "where the fuck are we going?" pit asked. "hmm... well it'd be obvious if he hid in somewhere related to mario... maybe we should check hyrule! besides, link must be worried..." luigi suggested. link just nodded and when he did his neck kinda snapped a lil but it felt good.

mario and mewtwo were walking along an empty field. "where are we-a going?" mario ask. "well u see jimbo my aura powers or whatever lol can help me sense shit and im sensing dr. mario and i need you with me because your essence is similar to his n shit and his trail is leading us this way." mewto explaine. "ok" mario say.

MEMEWHILE captain falcon was listening to high life by daft punk on his iphone and bobbing his head to it and shifting his ass left and right at every BAAAAA BUMM. anyway then he heard a voice so he ripped out his earplugs, paused the song, and stuffed everything into his pockets. he peaked around an edge in the pac-maze... and he saw... anime (and edge)...  
"so, they ordered us to signal out anyone working for the red bastard?" a sonic recolor asked.  
"yeah," an anime said. it was goku.  
"im not down for murder but if it's for friendship and light then i guess i have to" another anime said.t he anime looked like pit but was from a game.  
"i'll just use my geno whirl and they'll die" another one said. he looked familiar, but something about him seemd a little anime or edgy. something about him just screamed 12 year olds begging for him to be included in something through an online community plagued with other stupid choices. and then it hit captainf alcon. these 4... wait no 5, there was another anime, a person in an orange jumpshit i mean jumpsuit. "im a ninja" he said in a ninja way because he was a ninja. anyway, THEN CAPTAIN FALCON REALIZED THAT THESE 5 PEOPLE WERE NOMINEES CONSTANTLY APPEARING ON THE SMASH COMMITTE BULLETEIN. basically, many whiny children would nominate certain people and write thei rnames on a piece of paper and slip it into a box in nintendo town. whoever got enough support would join the smash committee. anyway, then captain falcon felt an impetus to eradicate these animes and edgies. "FREEZE!" falcon shouted and jumped out to reveal himself. everyone looked at him. "oh no it's that guy" geno said. shadow as like "yo bitchs were the Miiverse Brigade. also yeah it's that guy you should deal with him COME ON LETS GO GUYS CHAOS CONTROL" the sonic recolor said and then suddenly an explosion of energy absorbed goku, naroto, sora, and shadow disappeared, leaving geno behind. "g-guys! what about me?" geno screamed. captain falcon approached him. "No! dont kill me im not even THAT animE!" geno pleaded. captain falcon hummed. "yeah, you have very little lingering anime essence around you. but you are a good warm up for my upcoming hitlist..." captain falcon said. "NO!" geno screamed! then captain falcon pulled his fist back.

"FALCON!"  
"NO!"  
"PUNCH!" then captain falcon punched geno and he exploded. captain falcon felt a weird tingle in his body. it felt good. "ah, so this is what it is like to DESTROY ANIME!" captain falcon said. "i guess i'd better get those old chaps as well. they could get in mario's way, but hey, who needs mario? after i kill the Miiverse Brigade one by one, i'm going for the animes on the smash committee next..."


	3. Chapter 3: Grammatical Flipside

Smash Committee Members: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Rosalina, Bowser JR, The Koopalings, Wario, Mr. Game and Watch, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Link, Zelda/Sheik, Toon Link, Samus/Zero Suit Samus, Pit, Palutena, Marth, Ike, Male Robin, Female Robin, Kirby, Little Mac, Fox, Falco, Pikachu, Charizard, Lucario, Jigglypuff, Greninja, Duck Hunt Dog, Duck Hunt Bird, ROB, Ness, Captain Falcon, Villager, Olimar, Female Wii Fit Trainer, Male Wii Fit Trainer, Dark Pit, Lucina, Shulk, Pac-Man, Mega Man, and Sonic

People not allowed in: Bowser, Ganondorf, King Dedede

people banished: Mewtwo Dr. Mario, Pichu (dead), Roy, Young Link, Wolf

people who left willingly: Ice Climbers, Meta Knight, Pokemon Trainer, Squirtle, Lucas, Snake and Ivysaur

(god did i forget anyone) ANYWAY WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY... CHAPTER 3

* * *

"ah we finally made it to hyrule!" luigi said. they started walking toward zelda's castle (zelda is the girl btw). link who is not zelda then took lead because he knew the hyrule fields better than i know the lyrics to Time to Dance by Panic!1!11! at the Discount. link had them to the castle in no time and they did a bunch of dodge rolls to get there faster like in ocarina of time.

meanwhile mario and metwo were heading into a cave. "where are we-a going you dingdong" mario asked. "shut the fkcu up and let me lead you" mewtingle said. then mario noticed a rock on the ground. he picked it up and he pressed it and then Mewtwo grabbed the switch from him.  
"What the heck did that do?" Mario asked.  
"Nothing, nothing. It's not important. Just keep following me," Mewtwo muttered as he tossed the switch away.

Meanwhile Captain Falcon was running through the Pac-Maze at rapid speeds. It took him all day and night, but he finally emerged from the entrace of the Pac-Maze. His beloved vehicle, the Blue Falcon, was just parked a little ways away. Captain Falcon jogged over to his beloved machine only to find it in a state of dilipidation. In graffiti it read, "Falcon Punch your dick!", and other things, such as, "HAVE SOME COMPOSURE WHERE IS YOUR POSTURE OH NO NO."  
"UGH!" Captain Falcon screamed. "I hate that fucking song! I think I heard it in an anime once, not that I watch anime because I'm not a spawn of Satan or a nerd."  
Nonetheless, Captain Falcon hopped into his damaged vehicle. He flipped some switches, but it wouldn't turn on.  
"FALCON SHIT!"

Pit, Luigi, and Link entered Hyrule Castle. The guards let Link walk in, as well as his companions, recognizing them as members of the Smash Committee and also as friends of Link. Pit and Luigi followed Link through the castle and up to the Queen's Room, but she was nowhere to be found. "Oh no! The Princess who's actually a Queen is missing!" Luigi exclaimed.  
"What do we do? It's not like she's never been kidnapped before! This is serious!" Pit screamed.  
Link just sighed. This was a typical Tuesday evening for him. "What do we do?" Pit asked him. "Oh, I know! Let's tell the guards!" Pit immediately started running as Luigi and Link followed him. They ran outside the castle and stopped at the feet of one of the guards, breathing to take in air.  
"Just a... huff... second here..." Pit said under deep breaths.  
"The P-p-p-p-p-prin-p-p," Luigi uttered in cowardice.  
"Huh? What's the matter! Speak up now!" The guard insisted.  
Then Link just started coughing violently. A chicken feather flew from his mouth, and then he started coughing harder. A cucco fluttered out of his mouth, and then another, and another. Link was coughing up cocks relentlessly now, with seemingly hundreds of cuccos emerging from his mouth. After many seconds had passed, Link finished coughing. A few final feathers flew out of his mouth, and then he spit out a little blood.  
"Finally! I can speak again!" Link screamed.  
"HOLY SHIT HE CAN TALK!" The Guard yelled.  
"Did you think I was mute or something? If Young Me can speak, then why wouldn't I be able to?" Link asked in a sassy sarcastic voice.  
"Well... oh yeah, I saw Young You today. He was here earlier, not too long ago. He went to go see the princess but... wait hold up what was it you three were trying to tell me?" The Guard said.  
"Oh yeah, that's right, the princess is missing!" Pit said casually.  
"SHE'S WHAT?" The Guard hollored.  
"Yeah and we can't trust Young Me you know. You do remember he was banished for crimes against humanity, right? Kind of a mistake for you to just let him waltz in here," Link retorted.  
"Well what the hell are you three still doing here? Go find the princess, dammit!"

Mario and Mewtwo were still walking through the cave, it seemed to go on almost endlessly. The switch from before kept itching at Mario.  
"Hey, are you sure that-a switch wasn't anything important?" Mario asked.  
"IF YOU ASK ABOUT THAT GODDAMN SWITCH ONE MORE TIME I WILL SWITCH YOUR STATUS FROM ALIVE TO DEAD, OKAY?!" Mewtwo screeched.  
"Mama mia, I just thought it might be important, that's all! We don't know what it might have done or what it can do!" Mario insisted.  
Mewtwo grunted and turned around. He stomped his foot against the ground, then ran off screaming. Mewtwo exited Mario's view as the cave trail slowly bent around a corner. Five seconds later, Mewtwo came running back with the switch in his hand.  
"YOU WANT THIS GODDAMN SWITCH? TAKE. IT." Mewtwo yelled as he harshly slapped it into Mario's hands.  
"I-a only wanted to examine it, is all. No need to yell," Mario said as he prs th eswitch. nothing happened and it was weird. "oh well!" mareo said as he threw the swtich aside. "YOU HAD ME GET THE SWITCH FOR NOTHING?/" mewtwo said. "ye" mario replied. "FINE FUCK YOU LET'S JUST KEEP GOING I SENSE SOMETHING DOWN THIS CAVE..." mewtod said. and tht was that.

captain falcon got out of his sexy car and he sniffed the air. what smelled like disturbing substances on action figures caught his scent. "this scent... so defiling... so... digstuing... it reeks of something related to anime... i must follow it."

pit, link, and luigi examined zelda's room. there was pretty walls everywhere but then luigi tripped and flipped a lever and the walls were replaced with stuff that looked like scene phase stuff like emo band posters all over and also other unmentionables. there was white stuff near the window. link got down on the ground and took a sample and licked it. "thank god it's only milk. cum on now let's follow the trail of milk, it will lead us to young me because he's a growing boy and needs milk" link said. so then pit and his companions luigink followed a milk pattern across half of hyrule and into a dairy store. young link and roy were there, chugging milk. "and after they got it surgically removed i never put anything in there ever again," roy said as he finished a story. he was laughing and so was young link. then link approached young link and punched him in the back of the head. "that fake link again here of all places!i found you... faker" link said. jk got you good he can't sp- oh wait he can now and that is WHAT HE SAID. "faker? i think you're the fake around here. you're comparing yourself to me? ha! you're not even good enough to be my fake!" young link replied. "i'LL MAKE YOU EAT THOSE WRODS!" and then link ripped the giant m, i, l, and k off of the Milk Bar logo from outside the store and stuffed them down young link's throat. "wait no i have a better idea!" link said. he then grabbed a cucco outside and hit it and then millions of cucco stormed. he grabbed every cucco and made young link swallow them. "you bastard! how is my boyfriend supposed to speak now?" roy shouted. "hes not. until 20 minutes ago," link said (clever time travel stuff). "well guess what only young link knows that we hid zelda inside the washing machine at hyrule castle and now his mouth is so stuffed he can't even tell you that!" roy bragged. then he shut his mouth. "YOU PUT HER WHERE?" luigi shreked i mean shrieked. "fuck i didnt meant to say that IGNORE ME" roy demanded. but link was already running on his way out the door. "fight him for me guys!" link said. "uhhh, okay!" pit said, unsure because he was a wimp and forgot to bring weapons because without weapons he is weak. "why don't you just flock off wing-face" roy said trying to act tough. "okay first of all if you want to reference a line like that you have to say it correctly" luigi said. "FUCK YOU I DO WHATREVER I WANT DAMMIT!" roy shouted and then he leaped forward toward with his sword hoard (he had two in his hands, two in his feet, one in his mouth, and one between his ass cheeks). "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" roy screeched. roy had screeched so loudly that somewhere, elsewhere, on angel island in the sega section of the world knuckle's master emerald shattered due to the sound. pit then grabbed luigi and started using him as a human sword. "luiginary sword!" pit yelled. "NO!" luigi screamed. roy slashed his sword at luigi's dong but the excitement the situation gave luigi made him so hard that no sword could cut off his dong. not even a diamond sword. so then pit started slamming luigi against roy over and over until roy was bleeding. "fuck this come on yink let's go," roy said as he grabbed young link's hand and ran away, dragging him away to safety. "we'll get you yet! FEAAAR US!" pit said facetiously. link then entered holding zelda's hand. "thank god she;s safe. hyrule is safe now too except i think ganondorf said he might schedule an invasion next tuesday but that's a ways away," link said. "thanks for saving me" zelda said so she could have a line. "sorry link, we couldnt kill roy and young li- hey, wait. what would happen if we killed young link?" pit said but broke off into a question. "oh, ohmy. we didnt think about that yet..." zelda trailed off. "hol yshit you guys shouldn't harm him. capture him. kill roy though." she decided. "yeah. we'll be on the look out for them," pit said. "we'd better get going," luigi said. "yeah" link said. anywaw, link then pressed his face toward zelda. "how about a kiss for good luck" and then zelda fucking ripped off his nose. "how about... no...se" she joked. link screamed but then zelda stiched his nose back on for him. "okay we'll be leaving now" pit said.

meanwhile mario and mewtwo were still in the cave, but now very deep... and mewtwo was guiding mario int he dark and they were holding hands. "im so glad i can trust you mewtwo. you really are good at heart and a great help when you're not plotting to kill us and takle over the world... youre... a tru bro." and then mewtwo was like "yeah. i guess plotting to kill you and taking over the world is like fanfiction stuff. esp if i killed a god like lord sakurai, lord and savior with all the right flaviors" mewtwo said. he smirked. "totally not going to do that after all this is over," he thought secretely in his head (CANON CANON CANON CANON CANON). then mario was like "what does 'flaviors' mean?" and mewtwo was offended that mario thought he was dense enough to think he meant flaviors as a real world and not to make a flavoral pun of flavor. "BISCH ILLL FIGHT YOU YOU DINGUS WINGUS" mewtwo screamed but mario had pulled out his iphone to look up "dingus" and "wingus" and holy shit the second one actually had urban dictionary terms even though i just came up wtiht he term myself. "yeah, WINGUS. i'll fight you with REAL WORDS," mario said. he was half joking but also half ready to beat the ass of a mew clone with "two" in his name who has his name commonly misspelled in fanfictions like this. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" mewtwo screamed. he opened up a giant portal. "you see, mr. mario, in this cave i have ultimate power and a giant bond to the shadow realm. i can open it on a whim here, and i can send people in or help people get out. you can't escape me in this cave because it took us the entire chapter to get to the end of this cave so it'd take another entire chapter of you RUNNING away from me to get out of the cave. and your fat you cant run even though the author is fat but runs SO HAHAHAHHA. also im working with dr. mario but you probably already knew that" and mario was like "no" and he said it in a very dull, careless, emotionless voice. then mewtwo grabbed him and tried tossing him into the shadow realm, but mario bit his arm and mewtwo screamed like the dickens. he flailed his arm up and down but mario just tightened his grip harder than that time he tightened those pipes when he was fixing his bathroom. "no... NOOOOOOO!" mewtwo yelled. he screamed so loudly that somewhre a giant green emerald that just got glued together recently fell apart. "NOOOOOO" he kept yelling. mewtwo then formed a ball of energy in his hand and held it against mario's face. "LET GO NOW OR OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" mewtwo screamed. mario dropped down. "GOOD. now then, mr. daring. i want you to talk right into that portal right now while i hold this ball of energy up that i can shoot at you at any given second." mewtwo said. "ok" mario said. he started walking toward the portal but then turned around and looked at mewtwo. "look... i know you may have been evil the entire time... but you honestly are a tru bro... if your good intentions were false, let it-a be known our friendship was real..." mario said. "ok i dont care" mewtwo said. then mario was like "just a hug then ill go in for real" and so mewtwo approached and hugged him then mario kneed him in the crotch. mewtwo released his energy ball from his hand as he fell back in shock and pain and screamd. the ball went up and hit the ceiling and the cave started shaking. mario then started booking it, running and running, and running VERY FAST. "WAIT YOU GODDAMN PLUMBER!" mewtwo screamed. then rocks started falling from the ceiling. mewtwo started yelling for help but he got abruptly cut off and there was a splat sound. mario then kept running faster out of the collapsing cave... to be continue.


	4. Chapter 4: A Sticky Figure

CHARACTER LEGEND - Rise of Dr. Mario Arc

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**Good**

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Mario's Crew: Mario

Pit and Co.: Pit, Luigi, Link

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**Bad**

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Dr. Mario &amp; His Minions: Dr. Mario, Mewtwo (DEAD), Young Link, Roy, Pichu (DEAD)

Miiverse Brigade: Goku, Naruto, Sora, Shadow, Geno (DEAD)

* * *

**Anti-Hero/Neutral**

* * *

Captain Falcon's Squad: Captain Falcon

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capataino falcano was huffing and puffing, running super fast as he ran across Nintendo Land. he was running toward the sticky scent of anime and... gross substances, btu then he sniffed a strong essence of anime nearby. it was time to go in for the kill... captain falcon started running very fast. "RUUUULES OF NATURE!" he screamed as he ran super fast. anyway then he was led to a little lake somewhere in nintendo land htat looked like a beach. samus was there, in a bikini and shulk was there in his swimming trunks. they were on a romantic date at sunset. "hmm... i should wait for the most oppurtune moment to kill the anime," falcon said. so then suit samus was now NO suit samus and she got on top of shulk but now he were naked too. "are you feeling it?" samus said. then shulk was like "ye im feeling it" and then samus bounced on him and said "ARE YOU FEELING IT" and then shulk was like "IM REALLY FEELING IT" and he climaxed after 3 seconds. "well i may be done but since i'm not a shitty partner i'm going to keep going until i satisfy you bby" shulk said. then he switched his mondicko to speed mode and thrusted fast. captain falcon watched this while peaking from behind a rock for 40 minutes. then samus finally came and got up to go put her zero suit and armor back on inside a changing room nearby. captain falcon then pressed his boner away and started tipppy toeing over to shulk. "feel this instead" captain falcon said. then shulk jumped up. "you! you're the one who called me anime!" shulk screamed. "you dont fool me, anime kid. you're a pureblood anime and you need to die" captain falcon said. "okay, fine. im anime but can you just spare m-" shulk began. "NO!" captain falcon scrEAMED LOUDLY. then captain falcon pulled his fist back. Watcha Say (The Lonely Island version) started playing. "PLEASE DON'T? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?" shulk yelled. "honey whats going on out there?" samus asked. then captain falcon mimicked shulk's voice, and said "nothing bby just wish you were that's all" and then he looked at shulk. "too bad i'll be in anime hell," he whispered in shulk's voice. "please i have so much to live for!" shulk said. "ha! anime don't have anything to live for. animes can't feel emotions or experience; they're beings of nothingness and disgrace!" captain falcon declared boldly. his fist lit up. "FALCON..." he begun. "no, don't falcon punch me!" shulk shitted i mean shouted. "i wont... i'll... FALCON FINISH," and then captain falcon launched his fist forward and killed shulk. the euphoria of killing anime made captain falcon feel tingly even harder this time. then he heard a "WHAT THE FUCK" and he looked over int he changing room and samus was there WITH HER ARMOR. "shitttytittyfuck" captain falcon muttered. he started running but samus was charing a shot. "NO DONT SHOOT!" captain falcon yelled. he ran as samus blasted her shot.

memewhile mraio was running out of the collapsing cave. he found a few shortcuts that made him get out much faster than he expected. "oh mama mia i think i just burned 5 pounds while running," mario said as he was exhausted. "great now hwere the frick do i go" he said. he was in a field. then a tank came up to him. it was an advanced wars character. "oh hey, you're one of those people that everyone wants in the smash committee even though lord sakurai sent an omen saying not to" mario greeted. a guy popped out of the tank. "ok i know one of the running gags is referencing mewtwo returns but that one was too vague," i thought. anyway then mario was like "quick let me ride in your tank and drive me to peach's castle it's imporntent" mario pleaded. the advance wars guy sighed and let mario in his tank. then they drove off super fucking fast...

pit, luigi, and link were leaving hyrule and walking around aimlessly. "so what now guys" pit said. "we checked my home. let's check luigi's. he has a mansion. perfect place to hide in a world like ours." link suggested. and then luigi was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOPE NAH WE NOT GOING HTERE" and pit looked at him funny. "well if we can't check any places directly related to mario, and we already checked hyrule, where are we supposed to go? we can't check the ocean or the sky or space, and Nintendo Town, Onett, the advanced fields, the dragon mountains, ice mountain, etc are too far." pit said. "well fuck let's just go to your place tell palytaney to use the power of flight on us" and pit was like "she can only use it on me and i am NOT searching alone." pit said. then link got fed up. "WE'RE GOING TO YOUR DAMN MANSION AND THAT'S FINAL LUIGY" he shouted. "haha you can't talk link you got us good" luigi said. then link pointed his sword to him. "that's not funny anymore."

captain falcon ran as fast and far as his fine ass could take him. he was listening to Harder Better Faster Stronger on his ipod as Samus kept shooting at him but she was too slow in her armor to get him in range. "work it harder make it better do it faster make us stronger" captain falcon said. captain falcon smacked his ass to taunt her. he noticed a jiggle. "god im losing my physique. i need to work out again" he thought. this distracted him long enough for samus to remove her armor. she was in her zero suit, and she was fast and running, just about to catch up to captain falcon. "NO! YOU CANT KILL ME!" he screamed. "YOU KILLED MY BOYFRIEND SO ITS PRETTY JUSTIFIED" Samus shouted. "he was anime!" captain falcon screamed. "HE WASN'T ANIME HE HAD FEELINGS! HE EXPRESSED LOVE! and even if he was anime... he still felt love." samus shouted. "that wasn't love! that was pure null emotionless lust! don't worry, i'm sure he experienced no pain. ever notice how godforsakenly powerful anime are? they can't feel pain which is why they can take so much!" captain falcon said. "not helping" samus yell. "too bad for you mam. anime is a disgraceful waste of space and must be eliminated! those dull, personality-less, emotionless null vessels only bring shame and pain to this world! taking up valuable space for life... radiating their awful scent... whenever they're in a situation they get all bloody and beat up, but they don't actually feel that pain. all they need is a stupid deus ex machina or stupid move that they shout out to escape situations. they can't truly feel the stress of life, they only pretend to for cheap entertainment. killing anime is a service to anime, putting them out of a misery they can't even feel" captain falcon vented. then he felt a whip wrap around his leg and he tripped. samus pulled him forward. "FALCON LAUNCH" captain falcon yelled, he burst into flames and shot forward. samus' whip caught on fire and she dropped it, and then Captain Falcon managed to run all the way away. the scent of defiled action figures caught his nose once more. he kept running, now toward the scent...

pit, luigi, and link emerged at luigi's mansion and the sky turned fucking creepy as fucking fuck... anywhoa holy crap there was even lightning and thunder. so then they entered the mansion. "hey gang, let's split up!" link said. "no let's spit up" pit said and then he spit up and his lugi landed on luigi and it scared him so hard he screamed and assblasted. there was a rummaging sound upstairs. "okay there's like 20 rooms up there tbh" luigi said. "if we look together we should be able to look through them all fa-" luigi begun. and then link was all "let's split up, gang!" and then they split like that one time i opened a banana peel. anyway haha they searched through everyr oom except for a locked one. they heard a voice in there. "luigi what the fuck is that room and did you lock it" link asked. "no i dednt lock that. i think it's the bathroom... im sure someone is just a-taking a shit. we should give them privacy" luigi said. then pit was like "nah let's knock it down" and then he and link picked up luigi and used him to ram the door. shadow the fucking hedgehog was there holding an action figure of maria, the love of his life and he was listening to linkin park. he was crying too and cutting himself. "shadow what's wrong?" pit asked. "EVERYTHING'S WRONG. THE WORLD IS WRONG!" shadow screamed. he jammed his knife into his arm and it went out the other side. "goddammit, not only am I filled with the darkness of edge, but now i'm so anime i can't feel pain! how could i let this happen?!" shadow screamed. "pretty soon... i'll have NO emotions... not that my broken self had them to begin with," he lamented. then pit laughed and patted his back. "aw you remind me of dark pit but more brooding and unlikable and edgy" pit said and then shadow slashed at him. he didn't drop his maria figure though. "why are you holdong onto that so tightly?" luigi asked. "im trying to clean it its sticky" shadow admitted. "wtf ew" link said and then shadow leaped at him with a knife. "YOU SICK FUCK, I DIDN'T DO THIS THAT BITCH GOKU DID THIS. HE TOOK MY MARIA ANIME FIGURE AND DEFILED IT AND NOW THAT i'VE TOUCHED GOKU SUBSTANCES IM TURNING ANIME!" shadow screamed. "its okay man, i'm sure you'll be ok even as an anime!" pit said. but then shadow turned away. "fuck this. i was supposed to kill you all but now i just want you to kill me. please put me out of my misery," shadow said. then luigi was like "ok" and he grabbed his maria out of his hands and threw it out the window. "WHAT THE FUCK?" shadow screamed. he jumped out after the figure. pit grabbed his companions and glided down. they were out in the front yard of the machine. "sorry shadow but i had to do that to get your attention" luigi said. then a boss theme from kingdom hearts started playing. listen to rowdy rumble from kingdom hearts 2.5 hd rehash i mean remix while reading this. anyway shadow the hedgehig was like "PREPARE TO DIE. YOU HAVE DEFILED MARIA AND I" and he snaped his fingers and a bunch of edgy minions called Edglings came out. shadow ordered them to attack pit and co and they bashed them all and killed them and fought them as shadow kept summoning more using the pure essence of edge in his heart. eventually, after waves of them, pit, luigi, and link managed to tire out shadow until he couldn't summon anymore. "im... so fucking... tired..." and then he pulled an entire chaos emerald out of his ass and swallowed it. he glowed green with power. "ULTIMATE EDGE, GO!" he screamed. he was floating now and the music speed up a lil. anyway, shadow blasted an energy shot made of energy and edge and sent it flying toward link. he hit ti back with his sword and it was sent flying to shadow and he hit it back then link hit it back then shadow hit it back then link hit it back then shadow hit it back then link hit it back then shadow hit it back then link it back then shadow hit it back then link hit it back then shadow hit it back then link hit it back then shadow hit it back then link hit it back then luigi started sneaking toward shadow then shadow hit it back then link hit it back then shadow hit it back then link hit it back and then luigi put his arms around shadows neck and snapped it. shadow's neck tore and he was bleeding. "oh... this actually hurts me even with the essence of anime infection starting to form within... look guys... be careful... out there... there are people trying to... kill... you... and... i know... them...they...sent...me" shadow whsiper. then pit was like "what? who are they? why are you working with them?" and then shedow was like "tssssch... ntohing... personal... kid..." and he pulled pit close. "if you see senic... tell him... hes a bisch..." and then shadow passed out, but he was still breathing. "what should we do?" luigi ask. "let's just leave him. i'm sure he's fine and besides i never really liked him anyway" link said. they left and started walking away from the mansion... they were now going to head down to the bottom areas of Nintendo Land's map, where places such as Nintendo Town and Onett were. there was still ice mountain nearby but it's cold as shit there...

meanwhile, samus had appeared at the mushroom kingdom. she started talking to peach but the conversation wasn't peachy. "oh princess it was awful, he killed him ruthlessly... he smacked his ass and taunted me too... and he was listening to daft punk while doing so. he killed shulk." samus cried. peach then clenched her fist and grabbed her frying pan in the other hand. "that cold stone bitch. he's going to pay. "he's after the 'anime' he said..." samus added. then peach felt her body go cold. "we have to warn Lady Palutena and everyone over at Dragon Mountains. Come, let's go to Dragon Mountains. I shall send a guard to send a letter to princess Zelda so she can warn Lady Palutena. We need to contain Captain Falcon before he can hunt down other alleged 'animes' outside our region of Nintendo Land."

meanwhile mario had been thrown out of a tank. he was nearing the dragon moutains (where every fe char lives in nintendo land). advanced field peeps and dragon mountain peeps stayed away from the border between their lands bc they hated each other so yeah. mario would have to walk around or through the mountains, and he decided now would be a good time to visit his good ol' friends from the smash committee...

across the land, captain falcon stepped his shoe down on cold, wet mud. he saw an edgy hedgy lying on the ground grasping an action figure. "maria..." he whispered. captain falcon walked over to him. he smelled putrid anime mixed with some unholy edge. without a word, he launched his Falcon Finisher and killed him. The Miiverse Brigade had only a few more members left.

memewhile back in a mysterious dark cave, something lifted up from under rubble. "god im happy to be alive," ? said (it was mewtoe lol). "i hope i tricked mario with that splat sound. i totally planned that and it wasn't just the cave tremors scaring me literally shitless i swea- wait who am i talking to. oh well, back to my plans"

"so where to next?" pit wondered. "well, near the bottom of the map we have dragon mountains, advanced fields, dreamland, that one place with that kid isaac lives, onett, nintendo town. there's more places in the ocean and sky and space though so we can maybe find a way to get to those?" luigi said. "hell no. we'll find our enemies in like 2 more areas, i'm sure."


	5. Chapter 5: Hot Falcon Action

CHARACTER LEGEND - Rise of Dr. Mario Arc

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**Good**

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Mario's Crew: Mario

Pit and Co.: Pit, Luigi, Link

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**Bad**

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Dr. Mario &amp; His Minions: Dr. Mario, Mewtwo, Young Link, Roy, Pichu (DEAD)

Miiverse Brigade: Goku, Naruto, Sora, Shadow (DEAD), Geno (DEAD)

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**Anti-Hero/Neutral**

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Captain Falcon's Squad: Captain Falcon

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Wow holy shit it's been like a day since I've worked on this lel.

mario arrived at dragon mountains and he walked up to marth the anime. "marth! boy do i have some bad news" mario greeted. then marth was like "my news is worse. captain falcon is trying to KILL anime... your princess warn us... he killed shulk..." marth told mareo. "WHAT" mario hissed. "sorry mario but captain falcon killed shulk while he was on a romantic date with samus... hes gone." marth said. "that cold stone batcH!" mario yelled angry. "your pincess warned us just a bit ago. she's here right now in one of the barracks... she's having pincess zelda warn palutena because her people look anime just like ours..." marth said. "come now. my boyfriend ike is waiting for me to gte back safely. let's go to the military base now."

captain falcon was running around at the speed of sound. he was in some barren valley somewhere in nintendo land and his nose picked up the scent of... a very strong anime... very anime... indeed... so he started listening to Around the World by Daft Punk because he was literally running around in the world. and also because every chapter he listens to a song by Daft Punk. so captain falcon ran and ran and ran... but instead of doing his sexy run where he engaged his arms, he was running with his arms behind him for extra support. then he noticed someone in the distance doing the same thing. it was that dumbass in the orange jumpsuit i mean jumpshit i meant jumpsuit. he was blond. captain falcon sped up rly fast and he leaped toward the ninja and punched him. as soon as he made contact, Riders of Light from Bayonetta started playing as the battle started. "wtf was that for?" the ninja ask. "YOU'RE ANIME, YOU DON'T GET TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS!" captain falcon screamed. "im not just any anime... im gonna be the hoe kog gay!" the ninja said. "that's your first mistake, you wretched being; admitting you are anime regardless of how anime you are!" (note: author knows jackshit about naruto but when he was younger his friends all went their their naruto phase. author is glad he never did. but he still had to watch some episodes at friend's houses. oh well). then the ninja who you should know is naruto at this point was like "im narutoe!" and captain falcon was like "yes... i know. you're one of the most putrid anime of them all! ive had colleagues watch your show and play your games... you're some big celebrity with just about every kid in Nintendo Town and it's DISGUSTING!" Captain Falcon said. anyway, naruto got rly mad at captain falcon for making him. "rahsaygone" he said and formed a ball and hit it toward falcon. falcon kicked it back with a sexy leg lift thing and it went flying back and hit naruto. naruto flew back and as he was in the air, captain falcon jumped up and lit his fist on fire and punched him doward, sending narut flying down and creating a giant crater in the ground. "bisch... now im really mad."

so pit, link, and luigi had passed along the side of Dragon Mountains and went through Advanced Fields, and also managed to slip through PokePark or whatever the Pokemon area in nintendo land is called. so then they arrived in nintendo town. this is where villager, a furry, and his animal companions lived, as well as many children and a species known as mii. the mii and children were both equally annoying and said some of the dumbest things. they didn't stick out among other people in Nintendo Land. so then as pit and co entered Nintendo Town they saw... an anime. an anime from the square enix kingdom. he was just like every other one: spiky hair, anime eyes, and a lot of zipper and or belts all over. pit knew this guy. it was his old rival... and also friend. "SORRRRRA FEDORA!" pit shouted. sora looked at him from across the street and every villager looked at them. "i told you to STOP calling me that! i dont even wear fedoras!" sora cried. sora always cries. "pit! you know sora?" luigi said. "yeah we go way back. we've teamed up before. hell we even switched clothes and pretended to be each other one time but nobody noticed." pit said. then sora was like, "but they said i was more whiny and annyoing than you like every 5 seconds!" he cried. "oh. haha oops sorry about that. so what are you doing here?" pit asked. then someone shouted in a familiar voice "Hellooooooo people. we're here to make your money!" and it was ROY THE NOT BOY THE DEBATABLY ANIME and yong lonk. "eyyyyyy" young link said as he held out his adult wallet it had an edgy chain on it like those edgy video game and anime wallets that are always at hot topic or nerdy shops. it had a triforce on it. "hand over the dosh" roy said. then young link was like "why did you pronounce it as dawsh i always say doughshh" and roy wasn't about to fight him over that she he hushed him. and then one of the villagers was like "what if i don't want to pay money" and then young link wrapped his wallet chain around the villager and choked him to the fucking death right there. then young link took the villager's wallet. "okay we can sell the identity on nbay (nintendo bay)" and roy agreed. "what the hell" pit said. "that was murder!" and then roy and young link looked at each other in shock. "oh god not these guys again run, run away!" they both said simultaneously. "WAIT!" link shouted. then pit, link, and luigi started running toward him. then sora got in the way and he cried, "stop! you can't hurt my FRIENDS!" and then pit was like "fuck off sora they need to die. except young link if he dies link will die" and then sora was like "no they want me to fuck with you. and so does my squad, the Miiverse Brigade..." and then pit was like "the what bride gay ed?" and then sora smacked his palm into his head. "i don't have time for this mickey mouse bullshit," he said (but kind of cried). "im going to fight you all! and you cant get past me! I HAVE THE KEEHBLURDE!"

then mario finally arrived at the military camp in dragon mountains. ike walked over and hugged his boyfriend marth and then mario saw his wife peach. they hugged to. then chrom came in shouting "PDA! PDA! think of the children we can't have people HUGGING it looks like an orgy in here" and then ike and marth and mario and peach stopped hugging. "okay so i heard everything about captain falcon's anime hunt." mario say. then peach was like "ok good. we're going to camp out here for now. it's too dangerous to head back right now and i have bowser watching the castle. i told him i would pay him back a shitton of gold for it and he agreed," peach begun. "we need to stay here with our friends in case captain falcon targets them for looking anime. we;re about to send out the army to surround the place and keep guard." peach said. then mario was like "i'll need 3 horseback riders. send them to Green Hill, Wily's Lab, and to Pac-Man's house. i need to see some... well, mostly friends, and i have a job we all need to do." so three horse riders left the kingdom and went out to deliver letters mario wrote for sonic, mega man, and paaaacmaaaayan.

captain falcon was fighting the anime so hard. they were both now in a giant crater in the barren field. then naruto did that one thing that makes clones of him and he started cirlcing captain falcon. "no, your anime shit won't save you now!" he shouted. "FALCON FLASH!" he screeched in a sexy manly voice and fire erupted everywhere killing every fake naruto. the real one was like "damn" and then he did the one stupid thing like the sexy jitsu or whatever it was called the thing that literally turns someone into blatant sex appeal and whatnot. captain falcon felt something starting to grow, but the arousal only popped it up an inch before going back. "ha! nice try, i'm immune to hentai!" captain falcon said. "i haven't been attracted to ANIME TIDDAYS in YEARS. BECAUSE I'M NOT A NERD OR SPAWN OF SATAN WHO WATCHES ANIME!" captain falcon yelled. then naruto left his fanservice form and ran toward captain falcon and he used his copy jitsu (does that actually exist because i'm pretty sure i just fucking made that up) and then he started to do... THE FALCON FINISHER... and his hand caught on fire and he speed up and launched himself toward falcon with a huge jump and pulled his arm back. "WHAT?" falcon shouted. "BELIEVE IT!" naruto screeched in an annoying voice. and then he hit captain falcon. captain falcon ahd fucking died from the falcon finisher... (or did he?)

memewhile pit and sora were fighting. "no luigi and link this is my BATTLE!" pit screamed. "ok. you can take him pit!" luigi cheered. pit then grabbed a shovel from a villager and ran toward sora. he smashed the shovel but sora held his keyblade out in front of him and blocked. "im helping my FREIDSN! STOP HURTING ME!" sora said. then pit was like "you know they're killing people and stealing right?" and sora was like "MY FRIENDS ARE MY POWER" but then pit said "if your friends are your power how come you just let them all run off and die/stop existing/go into a comatose for 10+ years/allow them to be trapped in what is essentially your version of hell and so on while you just go around going to disney worlds in your stupid spaceshit i mean ship HUH?" pit asked. then sora broke down crying. "no... roxas.. should have been his own person... why must i live with myself knowing the pain i inadvertently cause... im such a tragic character... nooo..." and then pit, since he was a big roxas fan, was like "YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT WITH YOUR FAKE CHARCTER DEVELOPMENT! IM GOING TO KEEEELLL YOU" and he said the last part the same way he did in uprising when he said "im gonna killll you" and then he lunged forward the shovel but sora blocked. then pit hit the keyblade up and it flew out of sora's anime hands. then pit grabbed one of his zippers and unzipped it. "NO! MY ZIPPER!" sora screamed. pit launched himself forward and grabbed sora's keyblade. "ready to die?" pit asked. then sora summoned his keyblade back in his hands. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" pit yelled. "i fight for light!" sora said. "yoU'RE FIGHTING FOR TWO EVIL CHILDREN WHO ARE ASSISTING A SADISTIC EVIL DOCTOR YOU IDIOT" and then sora hushed him. "do you know what it's like... to be anime?" sora asked. pti was like "huh what" and then sora said. "being an anime means being a being with no emotions or feelings. you can't feel or experience antyhing, you're an empty shell. all you can feel is misery and longing to not be anime again. there are various ways of becoming anime, each way being highly fatal. killing anime isn't the answer, pit. spare me. i know you have the heart to do it... but there's no reason for me to live. i can't even FEEL the desire to want to live... now i know how all the nobodies felt bc being an anime is literally the same thing as being a nobody where i come from. i had a nobody once and he stopped existing so i could be restored... but now i know his pain. a pain i am barely able to feel. kill me," sora said. but then pit was taken back by his words. "but sora, if you just wanted us to kill you, you didn't have to goad us into doing so by pretending to be working with two amazing yet flamboyant evildoers. any good friend would kill a friend if they asked them from the bottom of their heart," pit assured his friend. and then sora said. "i'm asking you, as a friend... just... put an end to me." (deep). so then pit was like "ok... if you say so. there's no cure for being anime... and i hate seeing you like this..." pit said. then he took sora's keyblade who let him have it willingly then he knocked sora out. "i can't fucking kill him holy shit" and then one villager was like "uhh those two who have been putting us in tyranny over the past day or two just ran off to the town nearby." and link asked "what town?" and the villager replied "Onett"

meanwhile mario was grouping up his possee n shit and sonic, mega man, and pacman were there. "okay guys. now we HAVE to look for dr. mario" mario said. but sonic was like "fuck that i have things to fast" and apc man was like "wakak waka" and mega man just stood in silence, annoyed. "sonic stop being a bitch" mega man finally chimedIN I HCIME IN WITH A HAEVN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF CLOSING A GODDAMN DOOR NO ITS MUCH BETTER TO FAST THESE KINDS OF THINGS WITH A SENSE OF POISE AND RATIONALITY. nayway then sonic was all like "then what's in it for me if i help u" and mario then said "I will let you take Shulk's ranking in the Smash Committee," and that was really fucking celver because shulk is dead now.  
"oooooh! okay. i was fucking tired of being the bottom ranked member anyway" sonic said. "okay. it's starting to get late, so we should set out now," mario said. and then mario and his third party companions left dragon mountains.

meanwhile the anime ninja guy was running with his hands behind his back again. "thank god i finally killed that menace. i hope sora is still alive because we barely have any members left besides gokk" and then suddenly captain falcon suddenly punched him from behind. naruto was shocked af. "HOW?" he shouted. "I was wearing anime repelent, and my pure sense of hatred and disgust in anime helped pull me through - as long as I am livid with rage, anime can do no more. If I go down, anime will go down alongside my dying breath!" captain falcon declared. "IMPOSSIBLE! NO!" and then captain falcon started up his falcon finisher. "NOOOOO! I CANT DIE UNTIL I BECOME THE HOKAGE, MY DREAMS WILL HELP ME SURVIVE THROUGH ANYTHING" and then when he said that captain falcon screamed "FINISHER" and hit him. naruto died. captain falcon felt energy and ardor fill him. his heart lit up with joy, being in a state of pure wonderment. "i can smell it in the air. there's only two left in this group. after them, I should totally strike down the Dragon Mountains..."

it was now night time.

mario, pac-man, megaman, and sonic were sitting around the camp fire singing a camp fore song. they were outside in the dark with sleeping bags. mario eventually snoozed out...

meanwhile mewtwo was hiding behind a rock near a camp fire. he snuck out and grabbed three sleeping bags. who could they be?

ten minutes later pac-man woke up tied to a cross. "do you like mario" mewtwo asked. "yes hes my pac-pal" pac-man said. mewtwo sprayed him with water. "wrong answer. you HAve to hate mario. you were born before him, you were one of the most famed people in this entire WORLD and he debuts like what, a year later and takes over. remember hwen disney made a rabbit nobody remembered and then they made mickey after him and everyone remembered mickey? that's you. you're the rabbit. how does that make you feel?" mewtwo asked. then pac-man was unsure of his feelings. "i... you're right. mario acts all friendly and frank but he's not at all. he's an egotistical cunt just like in every single unoriginal parody of him that's ever been made!" pac-man declared.

so then mewtwo went over to where he tied up mega man. "do you like mario" mewtwo asked. "i love mario" mega man said. mewtwo didn't try to turn mega man against mario because fucking with love ain't cool.

then mewtwo went to where he tied up sonic. when mewtwo was like "do u like mario" sonic just cringed and starting making inhumane noises. probably because he isn't human. "NO I DONT FUCKING LIKE HIM I FUCKING DEPLORE HIM. HE GOT ME BANNED FROM SMASH OFFS IN THE SMASH COMMITTEE THE OTHER DAY AND IF UCKING HATE HIM FOR IT. SO WHAT IF I HIT HIM IN THE CROTCH? HE DESERVED IT AND THAT IS SO NOT BREAKING THE RULES. HE CAN GO TAKE A PLUNGER AND FUCK HIMSELF WHY DON'T PEOPLE LIKE ME IM SO MUCH MORE COOLER" sonic said and then mewtwo was like "well"

so mewtwo took pac-man and sonic into a small cavern. "goad mario into going to ice mountain. i shall strike along with dr. mario and you two shall help me. together we can all take down mario and mega man. now, act like I "freed" you and that you tried fighting me. im gonna free mega man and fight him so his story matches up and mario really believes it. i have some business in onett"

memewhile pit and co arrived at onett which was like next door to Nintend Town. it was in fire and ruins. "what happened here?" pit wondered aloud. then a screaming citizen ran up to him. "THE SHARKS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE TOWN, AND THEY HAVE TWO NEW LEADERS AND THEY KILLED FRANK FLY AND THE POLICE ARE LOCKED UP" (i just played earthbound 1 for the first tim- well i started it once but dropped the game and didn't come back for some reason but yes i just played through some of the early parts and now i actually have ideas for this/next chapter for onett and i actually know shit about onett now.)

captain falcon ran through the night in a naked breeze. he didn;t want his clothes to slow him down. he kept running as his senses picked up rotting anime. he eventually found himself in nintendo town and he saw an anime lying on the floor with a keysword. "pit... why... didn't you..." the anime mumbled. captain falcon launched his falcon finisher and killed him. when he did,the anime's sword disappeared... and then it suddenly appeared in captain falcon's hand.


	6. Chapter 6: Overture to Battle

CHARACTER LEGEND - Rise of Dr. Mario Arc

* * *

**Good**

* * *

Mario's Crew: Mario, Mega Man, Pac-Man (?), Sonic (?)

Pit and Co.: Pit, Luigi, Link

* * *

**Bad**

* * *

Dr. Mario &amp; His Minions: Dr. Mario, Mewtwo, Young Link, Roy, Pichu (DEAD)

Miiverse Brigade: Goku, Naruto, Sora (DEAD), Shadow (DEAD), Geno (DEAD)

* * *

**Anti-Hero/Neutral**

* * *

Captain Falcon's Squad: Captain Falcon

* * *

"No," captain falcon stated holding the keysword. "i cannot use the weapon used by the hands of an anime!" he shouted. all the villagers in nintendo town looked at him. it started raining and his suit got wet. "are you okay mister?" a mii asked. "FUCK OFF!" captain falcon said as he put on his headphones to ignore the people around him. he started playing Veridis Quo by Daft Punk as he lamented. "i can't... accept this weapon. how do i get rid of it? why has it become a part of me? I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT!" he said. so then captain falcon threw the keysword but it appeared back in his hands.

mewtwo teleported over to onett and whatnot and there he saw a fat kid named ness. "hey isn't your friend's name lucas?" mewtwo asked and then ness was like "okey" so then mewtwo was like "'okey' my ass. if you want to see lucas again you better come with me or he WILL die" and then ness was like "o shit okay just don't hurt him I'll come please don't kill him! also if i leave you have to let me call my mom occasionally or i'll get homesick" and then mewtwo was like "ye whatever" and took ness away to his boss, dr. mario. "dr. mario, i brought the boy. throw him in the dungeon with his friend." and then dr. mario was like "excellent..." and then mewtwo was all "also, boss... i tricked mario into going to ice mountains. we can ambush him and mega man there. pac-man and snoci are on our side..." and dr. mario's eyes lit up. "oh yes... this is good..."

back in onett the entire town was on fire. "HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD" shouted a town member. there was a phone lying on the ground and a voice was talking through it. pit picked it up. "hello who is this?" pit asked. "this is ness's dad. is ness there? is he safe? im on a business trip somewhere in the Platinum Games region. tell him i deposited our neighbor's entire life saving into his bank account" and then he hung up. "ness? he's on the smash committee!" luigi commented. "ye we should go look for him. he should be able to help us organize shit here.

captain falcon started to have a flashback... to when... he... was... the unthinkable... when he... was... actually... once... one... of... them... when... he... was... an... anime...  
"okay captain falcon. we won't air this show ANYWHERE in the Nintendo Land, nor in the SEGA cities, Bandai Namco region, or Capcom labs. hell, we won't even let this show up in the Konami Savannah. it'll air everywhere else though, and far out in space" a tv producer said. "yeah, whatever. i jsut want my paycheck, okay? and dont reveal my name to anyone either," falcon said. he was only in his 20s when this happened. "okay mr. falcon. The Super Action Superhero Adveture Sensei Show will air all around except in your country or places highly associated with your country. We can even cut the airing from Platinum Games Region too, since I heard Mario has been meaning to talk to Bayonetta about a bit of a deal lately. capiche?" and captian falcon was "ok" and then the guy was like "you know you look like you really are the perfect guy for this job and captain falcon was like "SHUT YOUR MOUTH... I DON'T LOOK ANIME I LOOK SEXY. and don't call me an Edgeling, either. I am a pure, bonafide Sexy! Animes always try to be all bubbly and cute or big and beefy to catch eyes, but that's just their way of trying to be a Sexy! And don't even get me started on the fake attractions Edgelings try. rarely anyone falls for those, but the way Animes reel in so many people to their misdeeds... this 'Hentai' activity has got to be banned. some people are just too stupid and fall for it, you know?" captain falcon said. he remembered all this. Sexies; people or things who existed, who were attractive simply for living and being alive. Animes; beings of naught who only take up space, merely only being empty vessels who cannot feel emotions or feelings but pretend to. most being vile and repulsive. Edgelings; beings of pure darkness born from people, Sexies, giving in to their edge. When one turns into an Edgeling, an Anime of the person is usually born as well, though people can simply turn into Animes without any relations to Edgelings. Ways include procceses similar to that of an STD, partaking in sex with, or rather "hentais" with an anime can make one become one as a side effect, or if they touch any of their fluids. animes can be highly contagious, though thanfully the ones that don't intend to do evil try not to harm anyone. they still do have to die, for safety and for conveincy, of course... it is my duty to eliminate them, and that i shall do even if i MUST use a weapon previously used by one," Captain Falcon said. and with that, he sniffed the air. Dragon Mountains reeked of anime.

back in Onett Pit and co looked for Ness, as well as their enemies, Roy and Young Link. eventually they found Roy and Young Link sitting around with a bunch of Sharks, a criminal orgynization in onett. "okay so how good did it feel beating the shit out of a fat little kid?" roy asked in anger. "calm the hell down!" young link yelled at his boyfriend. the sharks laughed at them. "yeah, we aren't working for you two. get lost. thanks for helping us raise hell tho," one of the sharsks said. then roy and young link looked at pit and co. "time to atone to your crimes" pit said. he dashed forward as he grabbed a baseball bat off the ground and charged towards them. "can it. look, we don't have time to fight. our leader wanted us to be at Dragon Mountains, so that's where we're headed. if you want to fight us, everything will go down there, ok? laters," roy said as he and young link got onto a horse and rode off. "okay, but what do we-a do about this fire?" luigi asked. "just let it burn out?" link said sarcastically, really wanting to leave. the three searched around frantically for ideas for a few minutes and then in the distance, thunder was heard. "aw shit it's raining," one of the sharks said. pit and co then decided to leave as the rain would take care of the fire. to dragon mountains it was.

the night was now day

mario, mega man, sonic, and pacman started heading up ice mountains. they went up and up and up and up and up and then they reached the summit. "well, i guess there's-a nothing here," mario said. he started to turn back and then suddenly sonic and pac-man were pounding him. "hey! back off!" mega man shouted. he was about to blast at sonic and pac-man and then he got pushed over by a shadowy ball. mewtwo was there... and so was... dr. mario. "hey, we did the thing and beat him up now where's our reward?" sonic asked. "you'll get it later," dr. mario said. "nice job mewtwo, glad to have these two on our side," dr. mario said. then mario was like "sonic, i can understand, but pac-man? why?!" and then pac-man was like "I don't want to be the rabbit! iwant to be the mickey, dammit!". mario and mega man stood up back to back as a circle of foes surrounded them. "so do all those abilities of yours count as extra lives?" mario asked. "nope" mega man bleakly stated bck. "ahem," dr. mrio spoke up. "I'd love to tell you of my plans but I am not ready to announce them yet. its a shame, because you're going to die right now," dr. mario said as he walked forward. everyone else did too. mewtwo laughed, then shot a shadow ball, but something swiftly jumped down and hit it back with a hammer. it was popo. nana showed up just a moment afterward. "run! run away!" the ice climbers shouted. at hell broke loose as popo threw his hammer at sonic, making him fall over and unable to use his speed and nana threw one at mewtwo. the two were knocked out. pac-man would be too slow to chase after them, but dr. mario managed to come running. mega man used a speed weapon thinger to get ahead while nana and popo escaped into an icy cavern. "get back here, faker!" dr. mario shouted. he leaped at mario and they went tumbling down a low steep fall. they tussled as they fell, until mario kicked dr. mario and sent him flying. mario managed to slide down the slope caferefully and get up on his feet. "Over here!" mega man shouted. mario ran toward him and they escaped the mountain. mega man summoned rush and the two rode him off back toward dragon mountain.

sonic woke up and immediatelly grabbed pac-man, running off and as far away from mewtwo before he could wake up. "where are we going?" pac-man asked. "away from our mistake," sonic replied.

dr. mario made his way back up to mewtwo. "so now what?" he asked. "get to dragon mountain. we still have our pokemon backup plan, yes?" dr. mario asked. "yeah, all the pichu are ready for the onslaught. I'll attack night, ok?" mewtwo said. "good. I'll be tending to my plans now. goodbye" dr. mario said as he opened a portal and left.

and so, everyone begun heading for dragon mountain...


	7. Chapter 7: Civil War

it was night time. mario got to dragon mountain and had warned everyone that they need to be ready because mewtwo could attack and said that sonic and pac-man was not to be trusted. mega man had gone back home. it started to rain over dragon mountain as Tears Don't Fall by Bullet For My Valentine started playing. (get it tears don't fall and it's raining and also edgy music for serious setting)

in the barracks, female robin and her boyfriend male robin were watching a movie on the very small tv. "so, do you think anything bad is really going to happen?" male robin asked. "i'm worried, i admit," female robin said. "don't be. anything happens, you're tough enough to make it thru, and if you can't i'll protect you, as you'll protect me. that's why we've always been together; we have each other's backs," male robin said. female robin was swooned so they started doing robincest (no they aren't related but they're the same person technically so? can you even have an s support with yourself? am i making referenes to other fics properly?) so male robin and female robin did the do in their bedroom. it lasted for quite a while and it was playful and brb i have to deal with something.

okay so male robin and female robin finished. male robin went into the bathroom to take a shower. female robin would join him in there, but didn't feel like it.

captain falcon saw a couple of guards sleeping outside an access point into dragon mountain. he listened to Aerodynamic by Daft Punk as he killed them both (don't worry they were only nameless side characters and not important fe chars so ur fav is still alive regardless of what game they are from) and he snuck through the dragon mountains. he saw a barracks and slipped in the window. robin was there, the female one. she just got done getting dressed. an anime ready to be exterminated. "robin!" female robin shouted. captain falcon then took a chair and put it under the bathroom door knob. "no. he's not helping you, first i slay you then i slay him!" captain falcon said. summoning his keyblade. he hit female robin with it. she had no magic or weapons on her at the moment, and was at the defense. "NO!" she shouted. captain falcon falcon punched her. wow this sounds awful and violent in literary form compared to seeing it in smash brothers. anyway, captain falcon kept depleting her HP with his keyblade and falcon moves as male robin banged on the door.

male robin was in the bathroom. "don't hurt her! don't you dare hurt her" he shouted. (then Dare by Gorrilaz started playing lmao). "take me instead!" male robin shouted. then sad music started playing instead.

"Don't! Please just spare me!" Female Robin screamed. Captain Falcon had cornered her. "Sorry, show all the fear you want, but an Anime can't have real feelings. Keep pretending, you're only wasting time," he said. Female Robin could feel Death himself ready to guide her to the afterlife. Fear filled her as Captain Falcon stared at her with his fist blazing, surrounded by fire, ready to strike. "This isn't about 'killing anime' anymore, you've turned into a monster! I've heard about what you've been going around doing. You think you're doing a service by exterminating us but you've become the monster! You're enjoying this. You think our pain is something to be proud of!" Female Robin shouted through tears.  
"First mistake was admitting you're anime," Captain Falcon muttered. He gave her another punch.  
Female Robin tensed up further. She felt consciousness slipping away from her. Anxiety overwhelmed her, and she started to try to grab things around her to hold on to reality. She felt under the bed next to her and she felt a book. It had to be a Tome, she could definitely use this. She pulled it out only to find a magazine. Hope was shattered, and Captain Falcon laughed. The laugh made Female Robin feel a mixture of hatred and fear.  
"Trying to pin this around on me and acting like I have problems isn't going to work," Captain Falcon said. He could be heard gulping awkwardly and he was sweating, breathing heavy. "Here, let me just take you out so I can kill your boyfriend next. Your talking is getting kind of annoying and it's not proving any points."  
Captain Falcon lit his fist on fire, then startd to speak up. "FALCON..."  
"NO!" Female Robin shrieked.  
"Robin, look out!" Male Robin shouted.  
And as Captain Falcon begun to smack his fist downward, the bathroom door behind him slammed open. The chair blocking it was sent flying and Male Robin leaped out from the bathroom, grabbing Captain Falcon from behind.  
"I said don't you fucking DARE ever hurt her!" Male Robin yelled. Female Robin watched as the love of her life fought fiercly with her almost-killer only a few steps away from her. She got up and climbed over the bed to the other side of the room. She was able to escape the room from her current position.  
"Robin! It's too dangerous to fight him like that! We don't have any weapons and we can't use magic!" Female Robin shouted.  
"Well, how else am I supposed to fight him?" Male Robin retorted.  
The reply hit Female Robin like a speeding bullet.  
"Would you rather it be you in this situation right now?" Male Robin yelled before getting punched harshly in the face by Captain Falcon.  
That had crushed her.  
"Just go, get out of here! Run and live or else this is worth nothing!" Male Robin ordered.  
Female Robin felt tears welling as she watched Captain Falcon beat him joyfully. He could easily take them both on with his current power. Sacrifice was the only way, and it could have been her instead. She took her lover's words to heart, and ran out the door and away from the building as fast as she could. She was headed toward the other camps within the range. She heard Captain Falcon call his signature finisher and her boyfriend scream, both voices echoing for seconds in the air, forever in her mind.

marth and ike were talking. "so, you think your old boy will show up?" ike asked. marth just shrugged and shed a tear. "look, it's okay to feel sad about past relationships. it doesn't make you weak, ok? you can tell me anything, i'll be supportive. do you miss him, marth?" ike asked. and marth nodded. "yeah, i just wish roy didn't end up so... rotten. he was kind of rude and ugh. I was so overjoyed to be with him at first but then..." marth said. "Yeah, and you wish you could have resolved things, right?" Ike asked. "yeah..." marth admitted. "And it really bites doesn't it? He's likely coming this way with all that's going on. If Mewtwo is on his way as mario believes, wouldn't he bring back up? roy man, if you don't want to see him stay in the shelter," Ike said. marth shed a tear. "Thanks man, but I need to face him. If I don't face him about this, I'll never be able to face myself."

memewhile, the final member of the Miivers Brigade, Goku, was heading toward Dragon Mountains.

mewtwo appeared, and all hell broke loose. portals opened up alongside mewtwo's and pichu started pouring in by the hordes there were millions being lit up by the moon in the sky. it was surprisingly a bit bright out for night...

"Everyone, hold your ground and fight!" Ike ordered. "Chrom, you find our Tacticians and get them moving!" Ike ordered. "alright" chrom said. and then ike was like "chrom if i die... ur the new leader" anyway then female robin came running up. "i found a tactician!" chrom said. then female robin was all "robin is dead!" (also since male robin is dead and there is only one robin now, we shall call Female Robin simply "Robin" now) and then Ike was all "WHAT?". pichu were all over the ground now, as were some occasional pikachu and also a few raichu. roy and young link came storming in and ike noticed roy. he frowned and expressed anger. "you will die tonight..." he whispered.

pit, luigi, and link came rushing into the Dragon Mountains, battling their way thrugh hordes of pichu. "we have to get to the center where the military units are! we have to help out around there if we want to truly contribrute!" link yelled over the noisy pichu.

mewtwo and mario were going at it violently. "so, not only do you-a betray me, you get my frenemy and good pal against me too?" mario quipped. mewtwo snorted at him. "whatever," he said as they fought fiercly in the middle of the pichu horde. "what exactly is dr. mario's true plans? who does he need and what does he want?" mario asked mewtwo just shrugged.

captain falcon let the tingle from killing male robin subside. then he jumped out into a horde of pichu. he was confused at what was going on, but then someone beckoned him from above. "Hey, asshole. Care to explain why you keep killing my colleagues?"

Chrom, Lucina, and Marth fought together, slashing away at Pichu. Marth noticed roy in the distance, but focused on the battle.

Roy was carrying Young Link on his shoulder so the Pichu wouldn't shove him around. "Come on, Young Link. We should take down Ike. that should get them riled up and raise even more hell!" and then a voice was like "you shall do no such thing!" and it was pit, link and luigi by his side. "you three! you caused us enough trouble! get lost!" roy shouted. young link jumped off his shoulder. "let me fight him. if i kill him maybe i can change what i'm destined to turn into," young link said. then the audacity of the situation hit link; if he killed young link, he would be erased... but it was worth it if it meant making a difference in the and young link charged at each other. pit and luigi were standing, ready to battle roy.

meanwhile, a little ways away from dragon mountains sonic and pac-man were having a camp fire. "...we really fucked up, huh pac?" saonic said. "yeah. mario trusted us... and we exploited him over... jealousy." pac said. then sonic stood up. "you think I'm actually jealous of... him?" he whined. pac just looked at him. "yeah... you're right. I HAVE been jealous. Jealous of his popularity EVERYWHERE. not just here in nintendo land or the smash committee, but everywhere. I've been off and on friends with him... and i feel so guilty for the times I've been problematic. what we just did can't be corrected... but it can be forgiven. I've been stupid and selfish this entire thime, and you know what? If I hadn't harmed him that other day back in the Smash Mansion, Dr. Mario would have never been summoned," sonic admitted. "wow..." pac said in awe. "that was... really mature of you. im proud..." he said. then sonic was like, "yeah, and you see that big fire and shitstorm over in dragon mountains? i think i know how we can make up for what i've done. what we've done."

roy was slashing away at pit and luigi. pit managed to grab a sword off the ground from a fallen soldier. while it was two against one, pit and luigi were on their toes...

mario was fighting mewtwo. mewtwo had his hand around mario's neck and lifted him up, about to blast his face off with a shadow ball.

luigi looked over in the distance and saw his brother. pit noticed it too. "the king!" he yelled. "luigi, go! help your brother!" pit yelled. "are you-a sure? what about roy?!" luigi stammered. "what about your brother? He's going to die!" pit yelled back, and then luigi ran over to mario.

captain falcon started to feel a sensation... and he noticed himself floating. "alright, charge your whatever bomb if you must but i shall still defeat you, animeboy," captain falcon said. then goku or whatever charged that big bomb thing (tbh i've never really watched dbz sooooo) and he was like "Muwahahah! if this completly charges all the way, I can wipe out this entire mountain range and THEN SONE!" he gloated. captain falcon thought for a moment. on one hand, it would destroy a lot of anime quickly, but those were HIS kills. "i won't let you!" captain falcon shit i meant shouted.

link was fighting young link, they were swaying back and forth with their swords, both killing pichu even though they were on the latter's side. "are you gonna fight me or not? i thought you were the man!" young link shouted. "I don't remember being this bratty and annoying," link retorted. "yeah? well I don't want to grow to end up like you so deal with it!" young link said. link, while acting cool, calm, and collected was worried. young link would be too easy to kill, but if he did kill him... what would happen? no. link realized he had to do this even if it meant death. it was only the enemy's idea of getting into his head. accepting his fate and ready to meet it, link launched forward and stabbed his younger self. young link gasped for breath as link noticed bleed splatter. he left his sword in his body as he fell to the ground. "now... you're going to die too..." young link whispered. "I'd be dead already. You're not me, you're just some wannabe kid. The only other me is Toon Link and he's out at sea, so nice try. I didn't know this quite yet when I decided to go in for the kill, so don't think I made this choice easily," link said. roy looked over and saw his boyfriend, dying. roy ran over, leaving his battle with pit behind. "linky poo no!" he shouted. he knelt down where young link was. "young link, plese don't leave me like this!" roy cried. then young link laughed at him. "pfft. did you really think i... cared about you? haha" he chuckled in a rasped voice. "what? what do you mean?" roy yelled. "I mean I wasn't relly in love with you. I was using you for status and perks, duh" young link laughed. roy was steamed now. he grabbed the sword that was in young link and yanked it out. he threw it behind himself without aim. link ran over to get his sword. "rot in hell," roy said as young link finally passed. roy glanced over at marth. "I know how it feels now," he thought.

mario and luigi were back to back fighting mewtwo and dodging his attacks. "so bro, you braved up?" mario asked. "ye-yeah i have!" luigi said. mario smirked. "I'm proud of you bro, I'm proud of you," mario said. luigi then felt an impetus to impress his bro and furtherly impress him. he launched forward at mewtwo, like did his side+b and it did that thing hwere it goes super powered up and does a lot of damage and mewtwo was sent flying but luigi took recoil as mewtwo hit him with a shadow ball. luigi was covered in small purple flames around him. "bro! bro are you ok?" mario asked. luigi opened his eyes and smiled. "yeah, i'm gonna be alright... just wanted to show how useful I am"

meanwhile, a bunch of FE characters and Peach were fighting Pichu and slaying the relentlessly.

Captain Falcon and Goku floated around in the air and battled, throwing projectils at each other. goku was charing his bomb thing at the same time. captain falcon then turned into a flaming falcon using all his falcon power and launched toward goku. they kept battling, and the spirit bomb kept charging. no matter what falcon did, it charged and nothing could surprise goku enough to break his focus. then mewtwo showed up. "hey, comrade. glad to see you doing your work!" he said. "thank" goku said. then mewtwo helped him charge his bomb. "no!" captain falcon shouted. the bomb charged super fucking fast now and it was ready to be thrown it was launched downward, but captain falcon flew under it and grabbed it. with all his might, he lifted it up and pushed and huffed. he then launched it upward and off into the endlessness of space, killing goku along with it. the greatness of killing anime had never felt better to captain falcon. he did a small little dance of joy before feeling a hand grab his neck from behind. "Your role has been played rather well, Captain Falcon. Now you're going to come with me. You could work nicely along thise PSI children..." Mewtwo said before escaping through a portal.

mario saw mewtwo escape with captain falcon. he then shifted his focus to dragging luigi to the safety of shelter where the medics were.

pit and link kept fighting roy, but roy held back. "kill me! kill me now!" roy shouted. "what? oh come on! we've seen enough people like you we aren't going to put no one out of their misery, so fight or flock to our side!" pit shouted. "I want to die! I fucked up in the past and I have nothing to live for now! And I don't want to go back to Mewtwo... I never wanted to work for him or Dr. Mario, alright? Young Link told I had to and bossed me around and I always felt insecure. I did the same damn thing with Marth and now I know how it fells. So much time spent questioning your own value and then getting thrown away like trash. It stings." roy vented. "Roy... can you please calm down? We don't want anymore death involved here," Pit tried to comfort him. "Just... kill me," he said. He was about to say something but got cut off quickly. A sword was stuck through him from behind. "Anything else you want?" Ike asked. "Ike!" Pit and Link shouted. Ike looked at them blankly.

in the distance, marth saw roy fall with a bloody chest. he ran over to him. "roy!" marth shouted. "marth..." roy whispered. "marth... forgive me... for everything. all your pain was my fault... and i know now how poorly i treated you. i deserve this fate marth. i truly do," roy cried. marth held him in his arms. "roy i want you to know that even through what you caused me that didn't change my feelings and shit and even tho i moved on... you still mean a lot to me. goodnight sweet prince..." marth said.

with no more big threats left, all that were left were the pichu. mario was back out battling them, until he suddenly got grabbed by a raichu. it was about to shock him, until suddenly something blurry and fast ran by and removed the raichu, kicking in the crotch 100 TIMES in one second. there was also a yellow blur being held by the blue one. "Sonic! pacman" mario said. "hey, sorry about earlier. you know how I can be sometimes," sanic joked. "yeah, I forgive you, but you still need to face consequences," mario said. "alright" sonic said. "okay, and... wait are you actually living up to your errors for once?" mario begun but cut off. "yeah, trying something new I guess," he sighed. "right well for now we need to slay these pichu. it's gonna take forever, so go out and get all the help you can get!" mario said. then sonic was like "i have a better idea," then he ran over to mario and reached into his pocket. he pulled out a mega mushroom. "that was my last resort," mario said. "yeah, and it doesn't last long enough for you to stomp on enough and make a different. me, on the otherhand..." sonic begun. mario's eyes lit up. "never thought i'd say this, but thank god you're here, sonic."

so sonic had taken the mega mushroom and shit and spindash and killed every pichu and pikachu and raichu. needless to say, there was some collateral damage, but there was nothing too bad. after the war was done, gaius from fire emblem awoke my keg came running out of a shelter holding a tv. "guys! it's that doctor mario you were warning me about the other day! he's on TV" gaius said. he showed everyone the tv. dr. mario was on a talk show "ah yes, it is me, mario," dr. mario said wearing mario's clothes. "and i have devloped a new vaccine that allows people to be immune to any disease, even preventing them from becoming anime!" he said. "and this boy will be shown given the vaccine soon," dr. mario said. he showed ness. everyone gasped.


	8. Chapter 8: More Overture to More Battle

okay so mario had called up a smesh meeting, where certain memebrs of the smash committee would be called up and have a meeting somewhere in the mansion. mario had summoned pit, luigi, link, marth, robin, samus, sonic, mega man, and pacmaaaaaaaaaaaaayan. everyone was in low spirits. so then mario spoke up, "ok, we have many threats; dr. mario and mewtwo, and it seems captain falcon is now being held hostage by them and he's... uh, well he's..." mario begun. then robin chimed in "evil! he's a killer and he's probably willingly helping mewtwo and dr. mario while twerking his ass to daft punk!" she yelled. "hey! he may be doing things, but he may also might simply be misguided. yes, we need to take him down, and yes, he needs to face the punishment for what he did," mario started to speak up. "yeah, and as punishement he should die" samus said edgily. then mario was like "we're not better if we kill him!" and robin said "if we kill him we're saving more lives!" and mario just broke down right there. "we have had enough unneeded death so far and we have people missing! I hate to be a rude leader, but listen here everyone; this is our plan and this is how we're going to go about it. We have to find out where Dr. Mario is hiding and we're going to storm him with force. Once inside, we shall split up. I fight the Dr and you all take down Mewtwo and whoever else is on his team. Once he's done, you all come assist me. We free his hostages and then we take Captain Falcon into custody. okay?" mario explained. everyone was silent. the phone rang and mario picked it up. it was on speaker and it was ness's dad. "hello? is ness at the smash mansion? i know he likes to hang out there, king mario. is he okey?" ness's dad asked. and then come to think of it ness was not ok he was in danger. sonic grabbed the phone from mario. "yeah, he's a-okay," sanic lied. then ness's daddy was like "WRONG. HE WAS ON TV WITH THAT MENACE DR. MARIO! lord, i thought he was banished but i guess now. bad idea trying to keep our ban list isolated from the world, huh king mario?" ness's dad said. ness's dad hung up and mario put the phone down. "okay, now we need to share what we know. what deaths do we have unlisted? there was shulk, mr. robin, that anime fella captain falcon fought who was goku i think, roy, pichu and then a million other pichu, young link, and who else?" mario spoke up. then pit awkwardly spoke up. "welll we did fight a few people and we left them unconscious despite them asking us to kill them... oh yeah, sonic we saw shadow and he wanted us to tell you he thinks you're a bitch," pit said. sonic was shocked. "you fought him to semi-death? where did you last see him?"

so mario and his crew got in a bunch of karts and sped on over to luigi's mansion. mario had a couple of people detour to go find some detectives who were professor layton and pheonix wright. they examined the alleged death scene and found traces of Edgeling DNA as well as some Anime substances. they confirmed it matched up with shadow's records. "i can't believe that ass is finally dead..." sanic thought. he looked somewhat sad but not too sad. "now i really want to get this done. where do we find captain falcon?" sanic asked. mario was then like, "well we need to search. think you could run around and breeze by some places to check?" mario said. then sonic was like "yaeh ill go" and so he go'd. to search.

everyone returned to the smash mansion. marth, samus, and robin were gathered up. samus was s(h)ulking. "look I know you all lost loves, but please be ready for the upcoming battle, alrright?" mario said. he wasn't too good at comfort. "yeah, ok. we'll be ready to fight."

then pit was with his bros. "luigi i heard about what you did and that was so awesome! is your head ok?" pit said in excitement. "yeah, it's mostly fine... thanks for asking. I'm just glad I could show some bravery!" looigi ssaid.

pac-man was int eh corner looking at mario. he wanted to apologize badly. "hey man are you ok? ...i know you're a good guy at heart," mega man said. pacman sighed.

sanic was running around really fast and then he lefft the nintendo land. "he must be hiding somewhere outside of this region" he assumed. he ran past varios regions super fricking fast and then he saw a flyer. "come now to the Square Enix Kingdom for a free vaccine from Mario! will help prevent the anime disease!"

dr. mario was laughing evily to himself. "heheehhe. this vaccine... all those almost-animes in squareenix kingdom will totally want this... and so many people will flock here for it, but little do they know... it makes them BECOME anime and they can never turn back! MUWAHAHAHAH!" dr. mario said. thn mewtwo was holding onto lucas the pSI boy. ness and captain falcon were behind bars. "you're not going to get away with this!" captain falcon shouted. "oh we will, and this boy is our test subject" dr. mario said. he injected the vile of anime juice into lucas and ness watched in horror until captain falcon shielded his eyes. lucas had become not just an anime, but an anime monster. "oh, and captain falcon. you're next," mewtwo said. "NO!" falcon screamed. then dr. mario giggled. "nice one, mewtwo. he really hasn't realized it yet, has he... or should I say it?" dr. mario cryptically said. then captain falcon's eyes widened. "what do you mean?" he demanded. then dr. mario laughed rly hard. "hahahaha... well u see captain falcon... your little quest was all planned. mewtwo told me of your little hatred of anime so i gathered up a bunch of animes and an edgeling or two and had you fight them. i tampered with them so their essence would merge with yours after every kill... so, my dear friend. what i mean is that you literally slowly became an anime, with the fall of the five members of the miiverse brigade you became what you are now. pity you had to go and kill shulk, some guards at dragon mountains, and the male robin. they weren't even actual animes, just toward them on the spectrum a teensy bit," dr. mario revealed. captain falcon was shocked. "what the fucking hell? aren't they technically animes then? you must be lying about me!" he inquired. and then dr. mario laughed. "well actually, you dense idiot, not everyone who looks like an anime IS an anime. in our world, we need a balance of the essence of Anime, Edge, and Sexiness. Sexiness enlightens us, Edginess keeps Sexiness from blinding us, and Anime keeps both in order. some just have a little more than one than they do the others, reflecting thier appearance. Shulk, for example, had a little more Anime than Sexiness and Edginess. Dark Pit has a strong essence of Edginess and Anime, but Sexiness is still there too. He's human. The pureblood Anime and Edglings are what are to truly be afraid of, as they are monsters made only of those two respective elements. They deserve elimination," Dr. Mario explained. captain falcon was all "ha! but both robins admitted to being anime as did shulk! you're bluffing!" and thn dr. mario was all "they lied to try to slip away and live, moron! regardless, you're anime. can't you feel it within you?" dr. mario said. captain falcon felt within him and then it hit him. his senses were blinded with overwheling anime not coming from the lucas anime monster, but he himself. "NO!" captain falcon cried.


	9. Chapter 9: The Fall of Dr Mario

The sky was dim, darkened by dark, gray clouds. Thunder could be heard in the distance, as well as an echoing scoff from within the castle ahead. Over the course of two very long days, Mario and his colleagues; Pit, Luigi, Link, Marth, Robin, Samus (in her Zero Suit, seeing it more fit for a mission requiring stealth), Mega Man, Sonic, and Pac-Man traveled to the Square Enix Kingdom to get to Dr. Mario's castle. Everyone was geared up and ready to go. "Alright, so we'a need to go over our game plan just'a one more time," Mario said. He was speaking seriously, intent to complete the mission, reminding everyone why he was the leader of the group.  
"Yeah. Our mission is clear. All we have to do is defeat Mewtwo while you focus on the doc, then after we take care of Mewtwo we help you out. Should be easy enough," Pit said.  
"It's not'a going to be easy, so don't think of it as'a such. We need you to be serious," Mario replied. While happy to see Pit eager and confident, he needed him to be much more pensive about the mission. "Alright, so on the count of three, we storm in there? Got it?"  
"Got it," everyone confirmed.  
"1," everyone prepared themselves to dash forward.  
"2," everyone hesitated with anticipation.  
"3. Go!" And with that, everyone ran forward.

The heroes barged in through the front doors of Dr. Mario's evil castle. Since I'm a weeb who plays shitty JRPGs and likes Disney, A Fight to the Death from Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD ReMIX started playing. They stormed through the entry office, heading toward the elevator ahead. Anthropomorphic viruses (the ones from Dr. Mario) were all over the place. Marth was slashing away at guards with his sword as Samus and Mega Man shot away. Sonic used his speed to tackle enemies all around the gang as they progressed forward. Eventually, they all cramped into an elevator. Everyone compiled in and squeezed to fit.  
"Is everyone in?" Mario asked.  
"Yeah," Samus replied. "Wait, where the puck did Pac-Man go?"  
"Waaaaaaaait!" Pac-Man yelled. Holy shit, he was only half way across the room and the elevator was already closing.  
"Pac-Man! You slow piece of shit! What are you doing?" Sonic screamed.  
Pac-Man was running as fast as he could (which was not very fast, being a fat round piece of yellow shit) and suddenly he tripped.  
"Oh, you've got to be KIDDING me," Link groaned.  
"Guys! Don't leave me to die! Keep that elevator open!" Pac-Man shrieked in utter horror as Viruses started to climb onto him and hump him relentlessly. "I think this one is an STD"  
"What? What are we supposed to do? We can't just keep an elevator open!" Robin yelled back. She was panicking as was mostly everybody else, but quite a few people, such as Link and Sonic, didn't really care and just wanted the elevator to close and hurry up.

Mario nudged Sonic. "Speedy, you're up," he said.  
"Oh hell no. Natural selection. I'm not going back out there," Sonic retorted with an annoyed voice.  
Mario stomped on Sonic's foot which got a reaction out of him, mumbling to himself before running out of the elevator to go and grab Pac-Man. Pac stuck out his hand and Sonic grabbed it, pulling him as hard as he could and fishing him out of the giant orgy of Viruses. Pac-Man was yelling in horror as he was pulled out, and Sonic ran off holding his hand, dragging him across the ground. Pac-Man felt his bum being scraped against the ground harshly and it gave him a rash.  
"Hold that thing!" Sonic yelled, referring to the elevator. Pit immediately put his bow between the closing door as he kicked back Viruses trying to get in.

"Hurry up! We can't push these things back much longer!" Luigi shrieked.  
Sonic speed up and pulled Pac-Man in just as Pit grabbed his bow and the elevator slammed shut. Pac-Man shouted in terror.  
"What now?" Sonic moaned.  
Everyone looked over to see Pac-Man's right leg, only half its length and ending where the elevator shut. There was a little bit of blood.  
"Oh my Gods!" Robin shrieked.  
"Are you okay?" Samus screamed.  
Pac-Man limped forward and stared at the stub at the end of his leg. "Oh my pucking God, what the pucking puck? What did I ever do to deserve this?" Pac-Man cried.  
Sonic, being the douche he was, snickered. With his douchey Roger Craig Smith voice.  
Pac-Man pointed his finger at him. "You! You hideous nipple! Do you think this is funny?" Pac-Man hissed.  
"Well I mean, the way I'm seeing it is that we both tried to kill Mario and I make up to him by more or less putting an end to a war while you just sit around and barely do jack," Sonic retorted.  
"TAKE THAT PUCKING BACK! TAKE THAT PUCKING BACK OR I'LL KILL YOU!" Pac-Man shouted, as jazzy elevator music sounded. It was the radio music from the game Portal.  
"Everyone! Silence! Order!" Mario shouted. Everyone snapped to attention. He spoke up extra loud so his voice could be heard over the yelling and catchy ass music.  
"Yes, your majesty?" Marth inquired.  
"Oh, please. I may be the king of Nintendo Land but as royalty yourself and as your friend just call me Mario," Mario said in flattery. "Marth, Mega Man, I want you two and Pac-Man to stay behind. See if you can help him through the pain in some way Mega Man, while Marth defends you. Pit, Link, Luigi, and Sonic; you all fight Mewtwo while I take on my shadow. Robin and Samus, you go and free the prisoners. Capture Captain Falcon, but do NOT kill him. Now as soon as this elevator lifts, we're going to go forth and'a attack."  
Everyone nodded and gave generic audible agreements.

The elevator suddenly lifted. Everybody ran forward.  
Everybody stopped.  
Right there it was. A monster.  
A monster made of disgusting slop. It was plump and huge, being the height of at least four Marios stacked on top of each other. There were many crevices between wedged lat. The monster seemed to be constantly oozing a slimy liquid that covered its entire body. All around the monster it had anime body pillows, J-Pop CDs, anime DVDs, and so on wedged into its body.  
"What the'a hell is that?!" Mario bellowed.  
"It's... it's some kind of hideous anime monster! Not a monster from an anime, a monster MADE of anime!" Samus evaluated.  
"Ahahaha," a voice laughed from behind it. Around the side of the monster, Dr. Mario popped up and started to approach. "Glad to see you've met my little friend. You probably would be familiar with him by the name 'Lucas', yes?"  
"You sick dastard! Do you mean the same Lucas who used to be on the Smash Committee?" Robin yelled. Her voice was crisp with anger.  
"Yes. My vaccine did this. A vaccine with an unwholesome amount of... Anime. Yes, you see, this vaccine has an ungodly amount of artificial Anime within it. And do you know what happens when someone has an intake of too much of such?" Dr. Mario spoke in a cryptic and intriguing way.  
"What happens?" Pit snapped.

"Well, my studies over the past year or so in the Shadow Realm have given me a new perspective. I've been studying life and the rules of the universe, you see. I learned that there are exactly three essences that make up the universe as well as us beings. These three essences are Sexiness; The Light, Edginess; The Darkness, and Anime; The Chaos Between. One can get blinded by Sexiness, so they require a bit of wholesome Edginess to keep a balance. As long as their Sexiness doesn't tip them overboard, it's fine. If they get blinded by Sexiness they will be blind fools, but Sexiness overdose is the least dangerous. Edginess overdose and Anime overdose can actually transform, you see. Edginess can make one become an Edgeling, effectively taking their heart away and turning them into a monster of Edge, only being able to kill and feel negativity. They're malevolent monsters. When one turns into an Edgeling, they release an Anime too. Anime are monsters of nothingness, having no true emotions. They're mostly a waste of space and contribute little to this world. Everyone has a good balance of all three, through some have a little more of one than others. Shulk had a strong Anime influence, though he had sufficient Sexiness and Edginess to sustain proper life. Shadow was once the same but with Edginess in place of Anime. Eventually, his Edginess swallowed him up and turned him into an Edgeling." Dr. Mario spieled and explained.

"That... that makes a lot of sense. That explains a lot about what all this 'anime' stuff'a really is!" Mario replied.  
Dr. Mario chuckled, then said, "Yes. My research has enlightened me, and it can help out the world, too," Dr. Mario said with a smirk. "However, I do not plan to use this knowledge as such. I will only use it to my gain to create monsters such as this one."  
"I think we've heard enough. Pit, Link, Luigi, Sonic; I'm counting on you to take this thing'a down. as for you doc, face me one on one!"

* * *

All hell broke loose as Mario and Dr. Mario disappeared, going at it as they jumped off of walls and went running off up a nearby staircase. "Robin! Samus! Go find the dungeon and free any and all hostages! We can take this thing on!" Link commanded. Samus and Robin nodded before running.  
Pit stared his enemy down. Lucas.

Lucas had been an acquaintance of Pit once. They were buddies back during the Brawlfest that the Smash Committee held, but Lucas had personally decided to leave and live a peaceful life back in Onett (even tho that's from Earthbound/Mother 2), not being a fan of all the violence. Pit choked back on his guilty feelings, and focused on the fight.

The Battle for Everyone's Souls from Persona 3 begun to play as Pit separated his bow into dual swords. The Lucas-Anime-Blob shot out a stream of fiery sludge. A putrid smell filled the room. Pit leaped to his right and narrowly dodged. The monster then started coughing, and Pit caught glimpse of something coming up its throat. It eventually chucked up and launched a body pillow out of its mouth, almost hitting Pit with serious impact. Link started to approach it from one side, but the monster shifted around with a spin and twirl, almost gracing Link with a cut from a spiky anime figure stuck into its side.  
Sonic was doing jackshit. Well, he was douching around in the corner if that counts.  
Luigi was cowering at the monster as his friends attempted to damage it. All he had taken with him to this battle was his Poltergust 5000, a lovely vacuum that the scientist E. Gadd had made for Luigi when he explored a dangerous mansion. He clicked it on and the vacuum started to suck harder than ur mum on dis dick lol #rekt. The vacuum sucked in some of the slob surrounding the freak of nature as well as all the figures, CDs, and DVDs.  
"Luigi! Keep it up!" Pit cheered. But then Luigi's vacuum got jammed with an anime body pillow. "Oh'a shit!"

* * *

Robin and Samus ran down the stairs and made it to the dungeon of the castle. They slammed the door open and started looking through the dungeon. Surprisingly, there were only two prisoners: Captain Falcon and Ness. Captain Falcon was crying, sitting in the corner with his back to the two girls. Ness looked at them with a blank expression.  
"Are you here to save us?" Ness asked.  
"Yeah, we're here to save you," Robin said. She exchanged a glance with Samus. They both felt awkward about Captain Falcon and didn't want to talk about him.  
"I don't think I want to get out. Lucas is out there and after what they did to him I don't ever want to see him again," Ness said. He started to tear up as a few tears dropped down his cheek and dripped off his chin.  
Seeing the chubby child cry made Robin feel sad herself. She didn't want to delay releasing him, but she was wary of opening the cell door. She feared her almost-killer would strike and that he would get the best of her. Samus looked at her and she could tell Samus knew what she was thinking. Robin sighed and neared the cell, only to be pushed over abruptly.  
"Robin, watch out"! Samus cried.  
Samus landed on top of Robin and pulled her to the side. Robin, now on her back, saw Mewtwo across the room. His hand had a shadowy glow.  
"Damn, it looks like I missed," he croaked. "Not this time!"  
Mewtwo launched multiple shadowy, salty, giant balls at the girls. They dodged. Samus then took out her plasma whip and hit one of the balls, expecting it to be sent flying back. Sadly, it instead dissolved and vanished. Mewtwo shielded himself with a generic dark barrier as Samus smashed her whip against it. It recoiled and Samus almost lost her grip of the end of it. Mewtwo then laughed like a cocky cock as he launched his barrier forward. It smashed against Robin and Samus, sending them flying and hitting the wall. Mewtwo neared them as he chuckled.

* * *

Mario was fighting Dr. Mario at the top of the castle, in a room with transparent walls and a transparent floor. Outside lightning was striking, illuminating the dimly lit room. While dark, it was still possible to see for the most part. The dark clouds outside didn't help either. Everything seemed to have a blue glow, like the ocean or some beautiful analogy. Some shit along the lines of that.  
"I can't believe they had the audacity to summon you in the first place!" Mario shouted.  
"I can't believe YOU didn't tell anyone what you did with me. Not alerting everyone of a banished criminal? What foolery is that?!" Dr. Mario jeered.  
Mario lit a fire ball up in his hand and tossed it at his foe, only for it to be hit with a pill thrown by the doc that would capture the flame and burn it out in its tracks.  
"We're equals in a sense, but I have much more physical strength and a much stronger will, you know," Dr. Mario said in a bored tone.  
Mario wasn't having any of that shit. "If you're so much stronger, then why don't you play the offense?" Mario goaded.  
Dr. Mario grinned. "I'm a doctor who majors in many categories, and let's just say mental manipulation isn't going to work on me. You of all people should know."  
With no other choice, Mario leaped forward with a punch. He caught the doctor off guard and gave him a tough hit, sending him back a bit. Dr. Mario expressed anger that could be read all over his face. Mario thought it was good he pissed off his enemy, but at the same time he felt as if he just made a fatal mistake.

* * *

"Rahh!" Link shitted I mean shatted or shouted. He hit the pillow that was blocking Luigi's vacuum, cutting it in half and freeing the vacuum.  
The monster was already starting to ooze up and reproduce its unwholesome anime merchandise.  
"Dang! That thing regenerates fast!" Pit whined. He started shooting some arrows made of light from his magical bow.  
"Just keep that up, Hotwings. I'll slice through the pillows while Luigi does what he does best; sucking," Link replied.  
Luigi frowned and made an "Oh, fuck'a you!" face, being careful to not loosen his grip on his vacuum.  
Sonic just sat in the corner leaning his back against the wall. A rigid, grotesque hand ripped through the side of the monster and started extending toward Luigi.  
"Oh'a shit!" Luigi hollored. Link hit at the hand with his sword, but it didn't cut through.  
Pit started shooting bows faster.  
"Alright, guess I better show off now," Sonic mumbled. He 69'd himself (turned into a ball) and spinned toward the arm at high speed. He jumped in the air and cut it in half with his spiked-ball figure. "Need a hand?" he asked as he picked up the chopped off hand.  
"Now's not the time for bad puns!" Pit yelled back.  
More hands grew and Sonic immediately got to work as Link and Luigi kept up their jobs.  
The monster kept spitting out disgusting body pillows, each one looking more and more disturbing. "How could anyone get off to this shit?" Pit wondered as he just barely dodged one. He was pretty sure one of them had a loli on it and he wanted to puke.  
"Can you hurry up with killing him already?" Link shouted from across the room.  
"Yeah, just a second. I'm dodging right now!" Pit shouted back in reply. A body pillow with Palutena on it was shot out of the monster's mouth and the puffed, pillowed breasts hit Pit in the face and he screamed. The pillow slid down him like one of those sticky wall climbers that go down. "OH GOD SHE IS SO GOING TO KILL ME!"  
"What? Who's gonna kill you?" Luigi yelled.  
"Uh, it's nothing," Pit awkwardly replied.  
Gathering his focus, Pit felt an awkward energy rile up inside of him. He didn't know why, but seeing as how the battle has gone on long enough, he openly accepted this obvious deus ex machina that is actually a scapegoat to advance the plot and will actually be relevant to the plot in the future.  
Anyway, Pit spoke up. "Lucas! Underling of Dr. Mario weebing before me! It's time for you to atone to your crimes," he said as he flipped his hair and it sparkled. "I am Pit," he continued. "Servant of the Goddess of Light!"  
Pit then started to lift up into the air a bit as an orange radiant aura surrounded him. "And you. Are. History!"  
Suddenly, Pit's bow glowed and he himself lit up only seconds later. He pulled the bow back, a giant source of light forming in front of the bow, ready to be launched. A voice whispered to him. "It is an essence of Sexiness; the Light of our world. Angel, use it wisely."  
Pit heard the voice but didn't care to listen to it. He launched the bright energy just as it started to blind him. It went straight forward, cutting through the Lucas-anime monster.  
Lucas the Anime Monster screeched in pain as it started to deform and its skin bubbled. It started to shrink and change shape in horrifying detail as it once again took the shape of Lucas, albeit with a bloody hole in his chest. Everyone ran over to him.  
"The Sexiness... was too strong," he rasped in pain. He was choking on tears.  
"Lucas! Don't die on us now! You're back to normal now and we can preserve you!" Pit cried.  
"No... I had become a being of... Anime. I was a monster. The power of the Sexiness you launched at me was too much... I'm dying," Lucas barely managed to say. His voice was extremely quiet.  
"How did you know about the balances?!" Luigi asked.  
"I'm a PSI user... we all know. Also, ...Dr. Mario's explanation. Keep it in mind... The world must know," Lucas said. He was cringing in pain at every pause because when people die they apparently do that.  
Before anyone could say anything else, light surrounded Lucas's body and it started to gradually vanish into the atmosphere. He was gone.  
Silence had settled in the room for a few minutes and the attitude was heavy. The silence was abruptly cut when a large crash came from downstairs.  
"Link! Luigi! You guys go see what's going on down there, I'll move on ahead and help Mario take down the doctor!" Pit ordered.  
Link and Luigi nodded and ran off to go back downstairs, as Pit ran up the stairs that Mario and the doc took earlier. Sonic sat around and did nothing.

* * *

"So... about the leg... can't you just turn into a ball or something?" Marth asked with a slow voice. He was worried he would offend Pac-Man.  
"What kind of pucking question is that? Who the heck just up and turns into a ball?" Pac-Man screamed hysterically in response. Marth backed up a bit.  
"God, what a dick. No wonder he always gets the short end of the leg. I mean stick."

* * *

Memewhile, Mario was at the top of the castle thing fighting Dr. Mario, who looked hella pissed off right now. He was livid, with a florid face.  
"Give in to your Edge, Mario!" Dr. Mario screamed. It was edgy.  
"No! Why would I do that? That would just turn me into one of those Edgeling things!" Mario scoffed.  
Dr. Mario laughed an edgy laugh. "Well Mario, it's funny. You have no Edge in you."  
"What?" Mario yelled.  
Dr. Mario gave him a shit-eating grin before speaking up and saying, "You see, I am your Edgeling."  
"But that would make me an Anime!" Mario yelled.  
"Not every Edgeling comes from succumbing, Mario. I am your Edge extracted and manifested into a being," the edgy doctor explained.  
Mario almost froze. "Who did it? How did this..."  
Dr. Mario shrugged. "I have no reason to tell you. In fact, I have no idea who actually brought me to being. My memory is hazy, but let me tell you now they are strong and powerful. Don't fuck with them." (that was edgy)  
Before Mario could reply, Pit came running in.  
"King Mario! Are you okay?" yelled the angel, running over to Mario.  
"Well, I guess I've stalled long enough. Time to begin the next phase of my plan," Dr. Mario hissed.

* * *

Link and Luigi ran downstairs and burst through the doors to the dungeon room. They found Samus and Robin cornered. Mewtwo turned around to look at them and gave them a nasty and totally edgy as hell look. The two backed up as Mewtwo started floating toward them. Then a beep sounded from a watch Mewtwo was wearing.  
"Mewtwo! Vaccine B is a go!" Dr. Mario's voice said through his watch.  
Mewtwo grunted before opening a portal and disappearing.  
Link and Luigi ran over to Samus and Robin.  
"Are you guys okay?" Link asked.  
Samus and Robin both got up off the ground and brushed themselves off.  
"Yeah, we should be fine," Robin said.  
The castle then shook.  
"Something's going on up there!" Luigi exclaimed.  
"Come on! We have to get up there now!" Samus said with a stern tone. She looked over at the cell. "Ness, we'll break you out once we're done!"  
And with that, the four took off.

* * *

Back upstairs, Dr. Mario started to bubble up.  
"Gross! What's happening to your skin?" Pit shouted in disgust. The doctor held his hand out as a needle grew from its palm. "Just seeing through an appointment," he said nonchalantly. Mewtwo came out of a portal.  
"So, about Vaccine B-" Mewtwo begun, but was cut off. Dr. Mario jabbed his hand-needle into him and he started screaming. Dr. Mario began to bubble faster, his body melting into the ground and vanishing. Mewtwo's eyes glowed red.  
Mario and Pit were horrified.  
"THE EDGE... SO HOT... SO PAINFUL... RAGGGGGGGGGH!" Mewtwo shouted. He started to glow with a dark, purple aura as bumps formed all around him. He was being absorbed by a dark radiance as he grew deformed. Link, Luigi, Samus, and Robin ran in just at the peak of this and joined up with Mario and Pit. "What's going on?" Robin shouted over Mewtwo's constant screaming.  
"Something... horribly wrong!" Pit wailed.  
Suddenly, there was two, horrifying and bumpy figures in the dark aura. Their outlines could be seen and they both resembled Mewtwo.  
The dark aura suddenly broke and the room lit up. There were two odd looking Mewtwo now.  
One Mewtwo was rigid and had veins all over its body. It looked edgy as fuck. The other one was glossy, with a very round figure overall and it had anime eyes.  
"Behold," they both spoke in unison. "My greatest achievement yet!"  
"Dr. Mario! Is that you in there?" Mario shouted.  
"Why yes, it just so happens to be me... my own soul in that of an overpowered Edgeling and a superior Anime! Two Mewtwos to control just for me!" the edgy and weeby Pokemon said, again in unison.  
And suddenly, the Edgeling started to twitch.  
"You can't have me!" it screamed. Mewtwo was breaking through.  
"Huh, that's odd. I was expecting you to stay with the Anime side. I guess your Edge was more prevalent, so maybe based on how much one has of an essence determines where the soul ends up," Dr. Mario observed. The Edgeling Mewtwo broke his fist through his chest. "RAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed. He was unstable and going hysterical. "GET OUT OF ME!"  
"Stop, be a good dog!" Dr. Mario shouted. He regained control of his Edgeling minion. "Just try and stop me now!"  
Pit ran forward but Mario held him back. "Careful, Pit!" he commanded. Edgeling Mewtwo then started releasing uncontrollable blasts as Anime Mewtwo started rapidly flying around the room, shooting out beams made of Anime energy.  
"What are we supposed to do?!" Luigi screamed in fear as a blast from Anime Mewtwo almost hit him.  
A barrier surrounded everyone and blocked the exit. Oh shit.  
Blasts were flying around for all over the room. All hope seemed to be lost as the Edginess and Anime engulfed the room.  
And then he appeared.  
Captain Falcon. With Ness. Out of a portal made of PSI.  
Captain Falcon ran forward, leaped into the air, lit up his fist, and screamed, "FALCON SUPER ULTRA EDGY ANIME LASER NEO NOVA AWESOME MEGAMIX PUNCH!" and he fully embraced his inner Anime, his fist lighting up the room, blinding everyone. Captain Falcon's fist punched Anime Mewtwo at its full strength, delivering great pain.  
The entire castle rumbled as the light died out.  
Captain Falcon was standing lopsidedly, only a few feet away from Anime Mewtwo. There was a portal open behind him.  
"Captain Falcon! You dare do this to me? You have no idea what true power I have with my Anime! Even if you kill me, I can come back as Satan!Mewtwo!" Anime Mewtwo yelled.  
Captain Falcon didn't say anything. He just pulled his leg back, kicked forward, and Anime Mewtwo was gone for good, flying directly into the portal as it closed. Anime Mewtwo was now in another dimension, very much like this one. (Go read the crackfic Mewtwo Returns to continue Anime Mewtwo's story)  
"This... is the ungodly power of Anime..." Captain Falcon whimpered. He fell and landed on his side.  
"Are you okay?!" Pit yelled.  
Captain Falcon grunted in pain. "No, I'm not okay. I'll never be okay as an Anime."  
"Falcon, don't move. We're going to get you patched up," Pit said in a comforting voice.  
"Yeah, and then you're going to jail," Robin added.  
Pit shot her a mean look, though he knew deep down Captain Falcon had to be locked up for his crimes.  
"She's right. I do deserve to be locked up. I went astray. I was blind, and this is the price I pay; being Anime and getting locked up," Captain Falcon whispered through tears.  
A voice laughed from afar. It was Edgeling Mewtwo on the other side of the big ass room. "How weak and pathetic. Such is the fate of an Anime, the mere waste of an Edgeling. Us Edgeling are superior with our dark EDGY powers!"  
"Stop talking shit!" Robin yelled.  
"You're standing up for Captain Falcon?" Edgeling Mewtwo asked, surprised.  
"No, I'm just tired of this," she sighed.  
"Good. Then let's end this!" Edgeling Mewtwo said as he smirked, starting to lift into the air. Then he suddenly stopped. He looked down to see Mario and Luigi holding him down.  
"What? Let go! Stop dragging me down right now!" Edgeling Mewtwo demanded.  
"You'a heard him Link. Now. Right now!" Luigi beckoned.  
On command, Link ran over and started stuffing bombs into Edgeling Mewtwo's mouth as Mario and Luigi continued to hold him down. Mewtwo started charging a blast in his hand, but then Robin tossed out an Archfire his way.  
Boom!  
Mario and Luigi leaped out of the way and let go of Edgeling Mewtwo.  
The room was covered in smoke and nobody could see anything. The smoke started to die out as Edgeling Mewtwo started to emerge from its depths, covered in flames and blood. EDGY.  
"Shit, he's still alive!" Link shouted.  
Edgeling Mewtwo was drinking the edgiest drink of all time; Capri-sun.  
"Mmm. I'm thirsty," Edgeling Mewtwo said. He took a big sip out. "So are you guys trying to kill me or what? Try harder."  
"Where the hell did you get that?" Mario wondered aloud.  
"Well you see, I may be an Edgeling made of pure Edge, but I am also a goth. Goths love to drink Capri-sun, fatass," Edgeling Mewtwo retorted. He took another sip.  
Captain Falcon stood up. "Capri-sun? More like Crappy-sun! FALCON PORTAL AMNESIA PUNCH!" he shouted. He ran toward Edgeling Mewtwo and punched him. Edgeling Mewtwo went flying as a portal opened up in the distance. Edgeling Mewtwo flew in as the portal started to close.  
"Goddammit what's happening?" he could be heard shouting before it closed. He was gone. Mewtwo, or rather, the Mewtwos, were banished to other dimensions.  
"Where did you send him?" Mario asked.  
"Hell if I know. I have the feeling it'll suit his pure edginess and goth nature rather well though, if he still has those even though I gave him amnesia. Hopefully he fits right in..." Captain Falcon said, but slowed down gradually as he spoke. He then fainted from fatigue.  
"Come on guys, let's go home. Our job here is done."

* * *

Dr. Mario's spirit floated around in the tower, in bliss and giggling over the fact it still lived. Then he felt himself slowly vanishing.  
"Lord Sakurai... you bitch."


End file.
